#as far as things go. i want you to know i’m happy and thriving
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paechtea · 8 days ago
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also i read all of your angry post from the other day. i saw it all and yes it did fucking hurt to see you saying that shit about me
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sparklingchim · 5 months ago
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game on | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2.2k
genre: footballer!jungkook, fake dating, f2l
rating: pg
warnings: koo gets scolded for sleeping around 🥺, playboy jk <3, hints of a threesome 🫢, oc fights w a laundry machine
summary: jungkook is in desperate need to polish up his playboy image, and naturally, he turns to you for help.
a/n: hii my pretty besties!!!! it's my bday😋 so i wanted to share this silly piece i've been having so much fun writing!!! love uuu n treat urself to smth nice for me today <3 mwah😙
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Jeon Jungkook is a charming man – and he is well aware of the fact. He plays that card effortlessly.
Most of the time, it works in his favour.
But sometimes, it backfires spectacularly and gets him into trouble.
Which is why he stands in front of his fuming manage, who is radiating enough anger to fill the entire office.
The sight isn’t foreign to Jungkook. He wouldn’t say he is used to it, but he has found himself often enough in this situation to recognise the signs of deep trouble.
Not only is Jungkook’s charm complicating things, but the fact that he is famous too.
Sometimes, he uses that as an advantage. Not in an obvious way — never by flaunting his own achievements or demanding special treatment.
That’s not his style.
His name alone carries weight, and he knows how to let it work for him, quietly bending the world to his will... until the world pushes back.
And right now, it’s pushing back hard.
One thing Jeon Jungkook does enjoy about being a pro footballer, though, is the way women obsess over him.
He knows they love him – sees it in the comments they leave on his ig posts, sees it in the DMs flooding his inbox daily, and experiences it firsthand at public events, where hordes of fans scream his name. Jungkook thrives on that attention.
However, something he doesn’t love, and what he was never prepared for, is the media. The way they scrutinise his every move, how his face ends up on every headline anytime he does something remotely noteworthy.
And now, thanks to his latest shenanigan getting caught by the press, here he is. Standing in front of his manager, Taesung, and his PR agent, Jiwoo, eyes downcast, bracing himself for the scolding that’s already begun.
“You’ve gone too far this time, Jungkook.”
His manager speaks in a flat, monotonous voice, void of even the slightest hint of disappointment, as if he’d long since given up expecting anything different.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up the mess you leave behind?”
A sense of guilt creeping up on Jungkook, even though he knows if he were just a regular guy, none of this would matter at all. And he finds it a bit unfair.
But to survive in this business, you can’t complain about unfairness.
“Have you completely lost your mind?” Taesung barks.
Jungkook remains silent. He forces himself to.
“If there was more involved than just alcohol-”
“No! Nothing like that,” he denies, his response firm and immediate. “It was just alcohol – and, well, just good vibes because we won the last match, and with the World Cup being next, everyone was just really excited.”
If he had known what kind of trouble a simple, innocent celebration of his team’s win at a club would bring, he would’ve gone straight home yesterday. He would’ve skipped the rounds of drinks, the flashing lights, the loud music, and definitely the attention. But hindsight was useless now.
“Good,” his manager says. “I’m glad you were happy.” Mock sympathy drips from his voice. “Perhaps the last time you are going to be happy this year.”
Jungkook nods, accepting the gravity of the situation. No more clubs, no more parties, no more girls.
At least, not for a while. His reputation had taken a few hits recently, and this latest mess wasn’t helping. He could almost hear the whispers: reckless, irresponsible, unprofessional. The kind of things that could ruin him if he didn’t get a handle on it.
He clenched his jaw. No more distractions. From now on, it was all about the game. He needed to remind everyone why he was Jeon Jungkook — the best on the field, not just the headlines.
“You’re no longer in for the World Cup. You’re out.”
His head snaps up at that. Did he hear that right?
“What?! What do you mean?”
“Myungbo doesn’t want you on the team anymore.” Taesung’s words sound heavy and final.
Jungkook’s heart pounds in his ears.
His world tilts. The room seems to spin, the edges of his vision darkening. This wasn’t just a setback — it was a disaster. The World Cup was everything to him, and now it felt like it was slipping through his fingers. The crushing weight of the news settles on his chest, making it hard to breathe. One silly night is all that happened.
He can’t believe that a single photo of him leaving the club with two girls clinging to each arm has cost him his spot on the national football team. He went home with two girls – so what?
But he doesn’t voice his frustration. He knows better than to add fuel to the fire. Speaking his mind now would only escalate the situation and make things worse. Jungkook knows from experience.
He swallows hard, forcing himself to stay calm. His pulse is still racing, but he takes a deep breath, focusing on controlling his emotions. He has to keep a level head if he’s going to find a way to fix this.
“There has to be a way to fix this.” His eyes move to Jiwoo, his PR agent. “Right?”
His manager fixes him with a stern glare. “Jungkook, remember the promise you gave everyone a few months ago?” Taesung reminds him.
Jungkook cringes. When he made a promise to avoid actions that might damage his reputation, he didn’t think it’d be that serious. He cut back on going out, made the effort to play the role of the “good boy” but really – come on. He can’t maintain that facade for an eternity. Especially after a triumphant victory like yesterday’s.
Taking away his spot on the national football team? He didn’t think that was possible.
“How many more times do we have to fix your problems, because you don’t care enough? How many times do we have to repeat this scenario?”
“I promise I’ll better myself,” he pleads desperately, looking back and forth between his manager and his PR agent. Someone has to believe him, help him.
“Do you genuinely believe this country wants to be represented by a 20-year-old boy, who can’t keep his personal life under control?” Taesung asks, eyebrows deeply pinched together. “This isn’t just about you, Jungkook. It’s about the team, the fans, and the nation. They need a role model, not a scandal waiting to happen.”
“I know. I know.” Jungkook scrambles for something convincing to say, desperate to sway their decision. This can’t be it. He won’t let his career take a hit because of something like this. “But – but this isn’t too bad. This is fixable. I can fix this.” His voice quivers with a desperation he barely recognises as his own. “Jiwoo.” Jungkook turns to her with pleading eyes. “You always know what to do. Please, help me”
“I did propose an idea but-”
“We’re not doing that,” Taesung cuts in. “It’s off the table.”
“What is it?” Jungkook’s eyes bounce back and forth between them. “I’ll do anything. This is – this is everything to me. You have to give me a chance.”
Taesung scoffs. “A chance? As far as I know, you have been given countless chances.”
Sweat coats the back of Jungkook’s neck.
Taesung understands just how much Jungkook has fought to secure his place on the national team. He’s well aware that it’s one of Jungkook’s greatest dreams, a pinnacle of his career that he’s poured countless hours of hard work and sacrifice into. That’s why, each morning, when he wakes up to the latest news of Jungkook’s escapades, he feels a deep sense of disappointment, texting Jungkook with a dejected shake of his head to visit his office first thing in the morning.
When it’s all he wants, like Jungkook claims, why doesn’t he act like it?
“If the head coach won’t give me a chance now, he’ll never do. This is my last opportunity to change his mind, make him rethink. I need to at least try.”
Jiwoo looks at the manager, waiting for his approval. He nods.
“Very simply put: you need a girlfriend,” she says.
For a second, Jungkook is at loss for words.
“A girlfriend? How’s that going to help?” Jungkook tilts his head in confusion. This is not how he thought Jiwoo was going to save him.
“You need a girlfriend to help polish up your image as a player. It’ll make you appear more like a gentleman, softer and nicer. We need to completely shift public perception and counter the negative image they’ve formed about you. It’s all about changing the narrative,” she explains.
“And that is not something we can easily achieve,” Taesung interjects. “Rebranding your entire persona is not feasible at this stage. You’ve been projecting what kind of boy you are to the media for the past two years. It’s going to be incredibly difficult to make a sudden shift look genuine.”
“No! We — I can make it seem real. This is my only chance,” Jungkook insists, his voice gaining a hint of determination. For a moment, breathing feels a bit easier again. “The World Cup is just a month away. That’s enough time to shift public opinion and prove I’m worthy of representing the country on the team.” There’s a hopeful lilt in his voice as he speaks, clinging to the belief that he might not have to bid farewell to his biggest dream after all.
But his manager doesn’t look as hopeful as Jungkook feels.
“How are we going to find a girl who will agree to this? Someone who isn’t an obsessive fan, understands this is purely professional, and can keep quiet? You won’t be able to pull this off.”
“I was actually thinking-” Jiwoo starts, but she’s cut off.
Jungkook hesitates, glancing between them before speaking. “Actually... I think I already have someone in mind.” His voice is more measured now. “That’s not the issue.” Jungkook doesn’t need to think twice.
Taesung sighs while Jiwoo looks at Jungkook apologetically.
“You can’t rebrand your entire persona from a playboy to a lover boy within a month, Jungkook. This is over.” His manager shakes his head, a sense of finality glimmering in his eyes.
One thing that Jungkook forgot to mention is that he is an extremely competitive man, too.
~
“This is ridiculous.”
You kick the laundry machine in frustration, but all you end up doing is yelping and clutching your aching foot.
“That’s the third time this month,” you mutter under your breath. “What did I even spend all that money on if it’s just going to break down whenever it feels like it?”
You shoot a death glare at the machine, teetering on the edge of losing your mind.
“Guess I’ll have to use the public laundromat again,” you sigh, grabbing the overflowing laundry basket filled with your and your roommate's clothes, and heading out of the bathroom with a huff.
On your way to the front door, the doorbell rings.
Please, you think. You were hoping for some quiet, uninterrupted time to deep-clean your dorm on this peaceful Sunday with no one around.
But when you peek through the peephole and see Jungkook standing there, your frustration melts away. You swing the door open, the laundry basket tumbling to the floor beside you in your haste.
“Jungkook!” you exclaim. “You’re timing is perfect! Can you please fix my laundry machine again? It’s been acting up, and I’m getting frustrated.” You groan annoyed.
Jungkook doesn’t share the same excitement upon seeing you.
You grow smaller and take an indecisive step back.
“What’s wrong?” you ask, noticing the tension in his features. “Did you lose the match yesterday? I couldn’t keep up because I had too much cramming to do last night.”
While studying medicine had always been your dream, the reality is less exciting. Right now, it means sleepless nights and relentless pressure. You know that pursuing this path will offer you many privileges later in life, but you have to suffer first.
“I need your help.”
His dark eyes, usually bright and full of energy, seem clouded with worry, and his hair falls messily over his forehead, like he’s run his hands through it a hundred times in frustration.
“Are you okay?” You study him closely, scanning his face for any signs of injury. Physically, he seems fine — still tall, muscular, and as fit as ever. But something is clearly off.
“You need to do something for me.”
“I can help,” you reply, your voice soft with concern. ‘But what is it…?”
“Can you be my girlfriend?”
You blink, repeatedly.
“Huh?”
You start giggling when he doesn’t add more. You expect him to clarify or laugh along, but Jungkook stays serious, stepping closer and gently taking your hands in his. You look down at them, then back up at his face, utterly bewildered.
“You’re silly, Jungkook. If someone on the team made you do this, tell them you did the punishment and quit acting so weird.”
It’s too early in the morning for Jungkook’s nonsense.
“No, ___, you don’t understand.” He squeezes your hands when he feels you trying to pull them back. “I actually need you to do it.”
“Do what?”
“Fake date me.”
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plaidcowboy · 17 days ago
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!loner!shoupe being rafe’s alibi
next ⸝⸝ !loner!shoupe being rafe’s alibi continued
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ྀི after the peterkin situation : “i can log into the system.. and cause an error so they can’t track the gun to you..” you held your phone tightly to your cheek, peering at your cracked door for any movement of your dad. rafe whispered back in response to your whispering, though he didn’t need to.
“you can do that for me, fugitive?” his low voice sounded in your ear.
you’d do anything for him. this was only the first of many instances to come that would prove that. you knew upon meeting him you would do whatever to make him stay. there wasn’t anything you were opposed to doing for him. he confided in you about his family issues which only made you feel that more protective. nothing could come between you two. neither of you would let it. what rafe did to the sheriff didn’t come close to what he would do if you were taken from him.
“of course.. i.. i don’t want them to figure out it’s yours. that would mean they’d connect you shot her. i don’t want you to go to jail, rafe. i don’t know what i’d do..”
“shh. i don’t want that, either. they think they’re testing me with this peterkin situation, if anything happens with you, i’ll show them how far i can go”
rafe’s constant reassuring words always made you swoon. no one wanted you like that. no one showed you they cared like rafe does. he showed you the standard of how you should be treated. you thrived off of it.
“but nothing’s going to happen. not with you being so good to me. what did i do to deserve you?”
you started, taken aback by his question. “i don’t deserve you. you treat me too well, i.. i can do more. i can get the cops to focus on the actual perp.. i’ll make them lock him up, you won’t have to worry..”
“no, don’t do that. you’re doing good already, it’s fine.” rafe hadn’t told you who the real perpetrator was. as much as he trusted you with his secrets, this one he still didn’t yet want to tell. you would never rat out ward, him being too close to rafe. it would only upset rafe and that was the last thing you wanted. rafe knew it would only make you more upset with ward. he didn’t need you worrying.
“okay.. i’ll call you tomorrow once i finish.”
ྀི visiting rafe in jail : “no, don’t tear up, you tried your best” rafe wished he could reach through the glass to wipe your tears. your plan to sabotage the computer system did work.. but your father came up with a different way to figure out who the murder weapon belonged to. which led to you and rafe being separated by aforementioned glass.
you softly sniffled, bringing up your sleeve covered arm that went past your wrist to swipe at your nose. “i know.. but..” you hiccuped. “..now you’re in there” your nose twitched.
“i don’t want those tears messing with my little fugitive’s pretty face. i’m not mad at you, alright?”
you sighed out a breath, collecting yourself. “okay.. do you need me to do anything? check on your sisters?”
rafe appreciated your willingness to help. you were always willing. whatever made rafe happy. even messing with the law. or talking to his sisters for the first time..
“nah, don’t talk to them. ’specially not sarah. i’ll deal with her myself” he trailed off to a mumble, slight vengeance forming in his eyes. it should scare you, the inference of what rafe would do to his sister. but you didn’t like sarah’s traitorous actions. family or not, anyone who didn’t care for rafe like you did didn’t stand out in your book. of course, you’d yet to find out what rafe did to sarah.
“okay.. anything else?”
rafe leaned closer to the glass, assessing you. “i’d love if you could visit everyday..”
“i will. i’ll come see you everyday” you rushed out before rafe could finish his sentence. he smirked at your eagerness.
“..but you can’t make your dad suspicious of where you’re going everyday.” you slightly pouted, knowing he was right. you only were able to get away and see rafe now because your dad was called to a scene. usually, he wouldn’t be letting you out of his sight.
“so.. you still got that camera, right?” he referred to your polaroid that you kept on your dresser. that you two used to take pictures of yourselves to keep. you two couldn’t always be around each other what with your dad’s relationship with rafe and reluctance to let you out of the house. “yeah..”
“could you take some pictures for me? don’t think i can go too long without seeing that pretty face.” rafe spoke with an awe to his voice. you wouldn’t get enough of his compliments.
“okay. whatever you want.” you attempted a smile at him.
𝜗℘ ゜・
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cece693 · 3 months ago
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tony stark x male reader who’s kinda shy and quiet but crazy good at math and science and all those equations. something fluffy and cute thank youuuuuuu
Brilliant (Tony Stark x M! Reader)
Announcement: for those who have been following my Velvet Ring trilogy fic, I've created an AO3 account where I intend to flesh out the story. Here's the link! Also, since I'm not smart myself, I didn't go in-depth about science and calculations, so forgive me :(
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Tony Stark was many things: a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist—but being in a committed relationship? That wasn’t exactly the headline he wanted plastered all over the news. Not because he was ashamed—far from it—but because Tony had learned the hard way that the world had a way of ruining what mattered most. And you? You mattered more than anything.
You were everything Tony wasn’t—quiet, thoughtful, reserved. While Tony thrived in the spotlight, you thrived in the solace of your work, diving deep into equations and theories that would leave most people with a headache. You were a prodigy in your own right, a quiet storm of brilliance and ingenuity. The kind of man who didn’t seek recognition, only results. Tony couldn’t help but admire that about you—and, though he’d never admit it out loud, you kept him grounded in a way no one else could.
Tonight, you were sprawled out on the couch in your shared apartment, wearing a faded hoodie and sweatpants you’d stolen from Tony long ago. A notebook rested on your lap, filled with scribbled formulas and diagrams. The room was quiet, save for the occasional scratch of your pen against paper.
The sound of the front door opening broke your focus. Tony stepped inside, tie loosened and suit jacket draped over his arm. He looked tired, but his eyes lit up when they landed on you.
“Hey, handsome,” he greeted, his voice warm as he crossed the room. “What did I say about math after ten?”
You glanced up, rolling your eyes. “You said it’s a house rule. I said it’s not enforceable.”
Tony smirked, plucking the notebook from your hands before dropping it onto the coffee table. Sitting beside you, he wrapped one arm around your shoulders, your head tucked into the crook of his neck. “You were late,” you muttered, resting your head against his shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“Just the usual corporate nonsense,” Tony replied, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You know how it is—saving the world, keeping the board happy. Exhausting, really. I’m practically a saint.”
You huffed a quiet laugh, but instead of responding, your eyes kept flickering toward the discarded notebook on the table. After a moment, you shifted slightly in his hold, trying to reach for it. Tony groaned dramatically, tightening his grip.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” he said, pulling you closer. “I just got home, and you’re trying to ditch me for math? Do you have any idea how lonely I’ve been? I’ve been deprived of your presence all day, and this—” he gestured at the notebook—“is more important?”
You bit back a laugh, managing to wiggle out of his grasp. “I promise it'll be worth it."
Tony crossed his arms, slumping back against the couch like a sulking child. “Fine, but if I die from lack of cuddles and attention it's on you.”
Grabbing the notebook, you turned back to him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You look fine. And for the record, this 'math' you're referring to is yours."
That caught his attention. His brows furrowed as he sat up straighter, his earlier theatrics forgotten. “Mine?”
You nodded, flipping open the notebook and holding it out to him. “You mentioned the other night that you were having issues with stabilizing the power output on the Iron Man suit. I’ve been working on it.”
Tony’s eyes scanned the pages, his expression softening with each line he read. Your neat handwriting detailed calculations, theories, and possible solutions. You’d even diagrammed potential fixes, complete with annotations on how they’d improve efficiency. “You’ve been working on this?” he asked, his voice quieter now. “For me?”
“Well, yeah,” you said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal. “I know it’s been frustrating you, so I thought I’d try to help.”
For once, Tony Stark was speechless. His eyes flickered between you and the notebook, the weight of your gesture hitting him like a freight train. You’d spent your time—not for your own research or projects, but to solve one of his problems. It wasn’t just the effort or the brilliance of your work—it was the care behind it, the way you always seemed to go out of your way to make his life a little easier.
Tony set the notebook aside, reaching for you instead. His hands cupped your face, his gaze warm and filled with an emotion he rarely let himself feel this deeply. “You’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice thick with gratitude. “I don’t deserve you.”
Before you could respond, his lips were on yours, soft and full of affection. It wasn’t the usual teasing kiss he’d steal when he was being playful—it was deeper, more vulnerable. A silent thank you, a promise that he’d never take you for granted. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and he smiled. “You’re too good to me.”
You laughed softly, your hands resting on his chest. “You’re worth it, Stark. Even if you are a little dramatic sometimes.” Tony chuckled, pulling you into another kiss, his heart full and his mind already spinning with ideas. If this was what it felt like to be loved by you, then he never wanted to let it go.
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archivalofsins · 20 days ago
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Be the change you want to see. By that, I mean start treating these character deaths like the prisoners' victims have been treated all series. Start asking what they did to deserve this. Start accusing them of attacking someone else first and deserving it. Throw some cheating allegations in there.
Just start going wild with it.
It's been like that with every other death mentioned so far. Why not again here?
How did this happen? Well, you see, Mahiru went to talk to Shidou and he saw her walking then realized the poison just wasn't working. She just kept living regardless of how and thriving despite the doses. This was taking too long why wouldn't she just,
"You're in my way... hurry up and die."
Who knows. The writing was on the wall everyone had read it but her.
22/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)
Mahiru: My birthday…… the day I was born…… But was there really any reason for me being born? Lately I’ve started to wonder that. Do you ever think about stuff like that, Yuno-chan?
Yuno: Eh? Not really. I mean, Mahiru-san, you’re really the romantic type, right? Not that I have anything against that. But isn’t it a bit much to think that everything in life has a meaning? If it makes you happy to think like that then go ahead, but if it doesn’t, then isn’t that in itself meaningless?
Mahiru: : ……you might be right. I’ve always just lived my life like this, so I don’t really know.
Yuno: We’ve all just gone through a bunch of things in life that happened to lead us here. It’s nothing more than a coincidence. Definitely not fate or anything. Probably. Even if there isn’t a meaning, you can still be happy that it’s your birthday. That sort of thing’s all you need in life really. So happy birthday, Mahiru-san.
The first allusion to the attacks occuring was on Haruka's birthday in 2022. After that the first allusion to Shidou treating the injured was on Amane's birthday of the same year,
22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)
Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.
Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental.
Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best.
Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.
Three months later we saw her again on Yuno's birthday. She stated that she was having difficulties moving but if she didn't move too much she doesn't even feel pain.
22/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)
Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry for making you worry.
Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.
Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry.
Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.
Yuno: ………… Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation? ……you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.
This news seems to have travelled around the prison. Because when Amane approaches her on her birthday the following year she asks her how her body is feelings.
It has now in canon been going on seven months of her being in Shidou's care.
She tells Amane that she fine and she can move around if she uses a wheelchair. This is the only time this wheelchair is mentioned after this Mahiru begins to drastically deteriorate.
23/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)
Amane: Happy birthday. Mahiru-san. How is your body feeling?
Mahiru: ……ah, Amane-chan. Thank you. Yeah, I’m fine. Now I can move around if I use a wheelchair…… It’s all thanks to Shidou-san looking after me……
Amane: I’ll give you one warning. The two of you are dabbling in something tabooed. If you continue to go against the way of nature like this, you’ll just bring an early death upon yourself. Think hard about this.
Mahiru: Amane-chan……? Are you really Amane-chan……?
Eleven months into her being under Shidou's care while requesting questions for the second trial written interrogation Jackalope notes that Shidou and Mahiru have completely entered the roles of patient and doctor.
23/05/15 (Interrogation Start: Shidou and Mahiru)
Jackalope: Prisoner 05, Shidou Prisoner 06, Mahiru. The interrogations for these two will now be held. Just leave your questions in the comments here. Ask whatever you want to know. This is where you show off your skills as a prison guard. ……hmmm. These two have now totally slipped into the roles of doctor and patient huh. It probably isn’t a good time to be getting interrogated for them…… but, well, it’s the rule.
Over the course of her second trial written interrogation Mahiru's handwriting declines rapidly.
Despite being interrogated together with her and being asked the exact same questions. Shidou doesn't offer to help Mahiru with writing her answers even though she is now completely under his care.
As well as the fact that there have been no rules stating that such a thing isn't allowed and that all prisoners must write their own answers.
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Such a drastic and consistent decline in writing alludes to something I've been speculating for a while now. That the prisoners are given all their interrogation questions at once and have to fill them all out at the same time.
We know that Mahiru and Shidou were given these questions together because it is the only way she would come to know that he had kids. As he never brought it up in the timeline before she asked.
Note the next conversation occurs sixteen months after Mahiru began being under Shidou's care.
23/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)
Mahiru: You have a family right, Shidou-san……? How does it feel, being married, having kids……?
Shidou: ……yeah, it’s a wonderful thing. Children…… yeah. They really are hope for the future. When you have your own, suddenly it becomes fun growing old. Since as you grow older, you get to see them grow up.
Mahiru: Ah…… how lovely. It was always my dream to become a bride. Though maybe that seems a bit out-dated. I wish it could’ve come true……
Shidou: It isn’t too late. I’m going to make sure you live. So let’s get out of here, and you make your wish come true. ……you still have so much to live for.
Then Kazui asks him later if he has kids so this was new information to everyone and the only place she could have seen that information is on the interrogation card he wrote it.
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Q.11 Tell us your family structure.
Shidou: My wife and my 2 kids.
So he could have helped her fill these out and just choose not to despite knowing full and well how servere her injuries were. Which we know he knew because he opens his second voice drama listing them in detail.
Even if they were not made to answer all their interrogation questions at once and Mahiru was given a reasonable amount of time to write her answers. Such as being given one card on the daily basis to fill out that would make the decline in handwriting more odd. Since at that point it would allude to her overall health deteriorating on a daily bases to the point that she can't even write like she used to be able to anymore.
All still while being under Shidou's constant care.
On Amane's birthday Yuno states that Mahiru has finally managed to get to sleep. Implying that Mahiru has not only had pain related issues but sleep ones as well.
23/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)
Amane: What is it…… Kashiki Yuno. Don’t sit so close to me. Go away.
Yuno: Sorry for barging in when you’re getting into your worldview thing. But Mahiru-san’s finally managed to get to sleep. Humour me with some small talk while I take a break. By the way, Amane. Have you ever wished you were never born? I’ve thankfully lived a pretty fun life so far, so haven’t really. But you seem to be struggling with something. So I kinda wondered if you thought like that.
Amane: ……I don’t think that. Being born into this world is the first miracle any person experiences, and is something to celebrate. Even if after birth I was put through trial after trial, the value of that will never disappear.
Yuno: Hmm. Ok. ……happy birthday, then. It’s good that you were brought into the world, I guess.
This conversation takes place twelve months or one year into Mahiru being under Shidou's care.
At this point her condition has not improved at all. She has rapidly gotten worse she's lost all mobility is implied to be bed ridden and for a time from this point forward will only be approached by others. Her state has declined so much under Shidou's care that she now needs two people to take care of her and is stated to need constant attention/vigilance to make sure nothing happens to further exacerbate her condition.
Meanwhile the second party to get injured during the second trial intermission has only gotten better without any of Shidou's care. So much so that he's walking around checking up on other prisoners. So, it's not a matter of not being able to heal in Milgram, but we'll see that in her last interaction.
On Kazui's birthday that same year Shidou laments that due to him putting all his time into taking care of Mahiru he hasn't been able to help Kazui around the prison.
23/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)
Kazui: Hey, it’s been a while since we last talked. You’ve been working hard lately. Are you doing ok? Should I give you a shoulder massage?
Shidou: ……no, there’s no need to worry. You’re surely on edge at the moment too, after all, Mukuhara-san. Since I’ve been devoting my time to Shiina-kun, I haven’t had time to help with the rest of the prison. Sorry for leaving everything to you.
Kazui: No, it’s fine. I haven’t done anything really. ……you take on too much responsibility on your own. Make sure you rest a bit too. Oh, that’s right, today’s my birthday. So how about you join me for a smoke? As a present.
Shidou: ……I guess it’s precisely because we’re in this situation that things like that are necessary too. Happy birthday. I’ll join you. Can you lend me a cigarette?
Presumably it's during this birthday smoke break that Shidou tells Kazui that Yuno has been helping him. His first response is to later go up to Yuno on her birthday and ask why she's doing that.
To which she responds with,
"If there’s someone dying in front of you anyone would do what they could to help."
Further cementing that Mahiru has not moved one step away from deaths door in now fifteen months of being under Shidou's care. Spoiler alert she doesn't die any better than she started trial two.
23/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)
Kazui: I heard you’ve been helping Shidou-kun out. ……er, sorry if this comes across as rude, but it’s kind of unexpected. It always seemed like you didn’t care that much about other people.
Yuno: Hmm? What’s with that all of a sudden. I mean, you’re right, I don’t care much. But if there’s someone dying in front of you anyone would do what they could to help, right? And anyway, aren’t you the same? You usually don’t care much either, right?
Kazui: ……I wonder. This old man isn’t as much of a thinker as you are. I mean, until now I’ve been in an environment where it’s all about having physical strength. So I’ve never really thought about stuff like that.
Yuno: Haha, we’re the same in that we’re both liars too. I guess the difference is the reasons we lie. You care about yourself, so lie to protect yourself. I don’t care about anyone at all, including myself.
Now we're in 2024, and her condition is still notably bad. Like still really bad, like at a glance, you can tell something is wrong bad. This timeline takes place twenty-four months after Mahiru was placed under Shidou's care.
It has been two full years.
She has the same injuries from two years ago while Futa is walking around just fine. No wonder he's concerned and going,
"As long as treatment continues, huh. …… I wonder how you’re going to be saved."
Because if the treatment hasn't worked so far and they've all been here witnessing the treatment this whole time. Seeing it not work while Mahiru is just here like but Shidou's a doctor, and he says if I do x, y, and z, I'll be better in no time. Don't worry. The treatment will work. Sure, I've been this way for two years, but it'll work. Shidou is a good and honest person, I trust him. Beyond that, just you showing concern for me has saved me already.
Dr.Malpractice off in his cell wondering what the fuck he can keep getting away with today. At a point they had to have gone yeah we gotta kill him. Like at a point they must have started getting a bit suspicious.
None of these people are unobservant.
24/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)
Futa: ……hey. Oi, Mahiru. You’re in pretty bad shape, right……? Isn’t there anything that can be done?
Mahiru: What’s up, Futa-kun? Yeah, I’m not great…… But Shidou-san’s been looking after me…… And he says if we keep going like this, I’ll get much better……
Futa: ……right. As long as treatment continues, huh. …… I wonder how you’re going to be saved.
Mahiru: Saved……? Are you worried about me? …… You’ve been a lot kinder lately, Futa-kun. …… I feel like I’ve been saved just hearing those words from you.
Then we've got the timeline before the end.
In which Yuno tells the audience and Shidou straight-up she does not know what he's getting at by saying she should become a doctor. Because the only thing she's done is follow his lead. Possibly with the expectation he was doing what he claimed he was going to do- Help Mahiru get better.
Yuno isn't a doctor she wouldn't be able to check him on if he was doing something wrong or not. She just knows that Mahiru's condition has just gotten worse and worse. So more help is needed or she may really die. She doesn't even fully understand the treatment Shidou is giving Mahiru saying she's just helping with whatever he's doing.
24/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)
Shidou: Thank you for your assistance with Shiina-kun’s treatment.
It’s been a big help having you here. Both for her and for me. It’s good to know that even if something happens to me, you’ll still be around.
Yuno: No way. I can’t do anything on my own. All I’m doing is helping with whatever you’re doing. It’s just like playing pretend as a nurse.
Shidou: No, you’ve got a good sense for things like this. You’re quick to notice things, calm, and fearless. If you haven’t decided what you want to be in the future, maybe you should consider becoming a doctor yourself.
Yuno: You think so? ……haha, stop it. I don’t want to be thinking about the future right now. And for someone like me to have other people’s lives in my hands…… that’s no laughing matter.
Then we get to the nail in the coffin.
Kotoko's birthday,
24/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)
Mahiru: Kotoko-chan… are you there…? I'm so-rry, for calling out to you. It's a bit… hard, for me to move… I'll need, to also give my thanks, to Shidou-san…
Kotoko: Going out of your way to meet with me. You're such an airhead it's not even funny. Well…. Go on then, if you've got something to say I think I'll hear out the reproach of a dying woman.
Mahiru: The re-proach…? Oh, its nothing like that… [All I want to say is] Happy, Birthday.
Kotoko: ………… You're out of your goddamn mind.
Where even Kotoko could see Mahiru was dying.
She never got a step away from dying. Everyone was always so focused on other things. Could come up with a million and one excuses for why Mahiru's health situation wasn't improving. All because some wanted to put all their faith in the doctor because why would a doctor-
Who openly told us that he committed malpractice. That he couldn't stop himself. That he'd do it again because he couldn't stay away and that's why he wanted this all to end do that same thing again? Why would he do exactly what he warned the audience he'd do if given the opportunity? Which is gain the trust of people due to his credentials as well as the severity of the circumstances then weaponize said credentials to emphasizes his own importance in order to commit the same fucking crime in front of everyone.
While people swear up and down time works differently in Milgram, that's why she's not healing as fast. We don't even know if the prisoners are alive, so maybe they can't heal once they're injured. While Futa is over here like- Man, I listened to the child and stopped relying on Shidou and I've only continued to get better. This shit is ridiculous. Usually, you're told to always listen to your doctor, but what if your doctor weaponizes that blind faith and societal rule against you to cause irreparable harm. Wow, it's always important to get a second opinion and think for yourself at times. Luckily, I got out.
Right now people are emphasizing how Shidou warned us about Amane. Told us something had to be done about Amane. No one is touching on the fact that Shidou and Amane were both voted innocent. How both of their verdicts led to this outcome. How Amane warned the audience about Shidou and his behavior. Warned Mahiru that what she was doing would lead her to an early death.
No one is asking if Shidou was guilty and Amane innocent would he be the only one out of that pair dead right now. Instead we validated both of them seeing full and well how Shidou was caring for Mahiru every step of the way. Feeling the time drag on and seeing her condition worsen not improve. Yet many kept telling themselves no he's actually doing what he said he would do.
He wouldn't do it again.
Milgram is just weird. We don't know enough about the space to say that's not impacting how long it takes for these injuries to heal. So his behavior was validated again and maybe if it wasn't Mahiru might still fucking be here. Because if she was given the space to properly heal instead of being kept at deaths door in immense physical pain and emotional distress for two years.
By this man who can only feel validated in his own existence and as though his life has purpose when he has someone else to take care of then maybe she could have at least spent her last days in less pain than she died in here. Because there is no reason that her injuries should have remained for twenty-nine months.
To the extent that she was still having trouble moving and looking as though she was at death's door to anyone who saw her before she was ever even lost. It sucks but a lot of people including myself have speculated he was committing malpractice again as soon as he was voted innocent and Mahiru was voted innocent but her condition still continued to worsen many suspected that.
It sucks that Mahiru had to suffer due to the audience's and others blind trust in this medical professional. That the work has done everything in its power to display commits malpractice and isn't safe to have around injured or sick people. They literally could not have announced this harder. Maybe he didn't do it. But it's still weird that all the injuries he lists Mahiru having in his second voice drama at most take three to six months to heal and she was still recovering from allegedly the same injuries Kotoko gave her up until she died.
"Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing of the left arm. And furthermore... This may be outside of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."
Maybe the number of injuries all together and the inadequate equipment within Milgram made it take longer. Yet she never got better in over two years. She couldn't walk without feeling pain. She started out being able to at least move a little without pain and through the use of a wheelchair but even that stopped.
She just got worse and worse until she died. Then, the one time we saw her up and walking before she died, Shidou was nowhere to be found. Last she said she was gonna go find him to say thank you. Who knows how that went or why she couldn't find him to begin with. Especially since his cell is right next to hers. That would imply he wasn't in it, which maybe.
I just know that if she was given time to heal if Shidou did back off a bit maybe she wouldn't have been in as fragile a state as she was. Well at least she doesn't have to spend another birthday writhing in pain from wounds that seem to never heal.
"This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end."
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theemporium · 1 year ago
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Hello my dear!!! So - I know your requests are closed for now, but I just had to tell you I am OBSESSED with your Danny Ric x Sunshine series, and I had a thought for once they’re open again… I know that Sunshine isn’t famous or anything, but what if she dated someone who was/is before she started dating Danny (ex. Joe Jonas)? Like maybe they were childhood sweethearts or something, and her ex shows up at the Miami GP as a musical guest or something and Danny goes FERAL and protective of Sunshine? I just think it would be so cute and fluffy 😍🥰
you are a cutie🥹thank you for requesting!!! i changed it a wee bit but i hope you enjoy! and sorry for making you wait so long🫶🏽
.
It wasn’t unusual for there to be famous faces dotted around the garage during the race weekend. 
Daniel was used to it and, if he was being completely honest, he enjoyed it. He enjoyed seeing familiar faces around the paddock, talking and chatting with them and meeting new and old fans alike. He was a social butterfly and he thrived in these situations, even if some drivers found it a little distracting or stressful when they were trying to get on with their jobs. Usually, Daniel loved it.
Except when these celebrities couldn’t seem to catch the hint.
You were gorgeous. Hell, in the eyes of Daniel, you were the prettiest human to ever walk the goddamn Earth. He was obsessed with you. He worshipped the ground you walked on. You were his sun and his life revolved around you and your love. He pinched himself every day that you chose to be with him, to love him, to be his forever partner. 
However, it seemed one of Red Bull’s recent garage guests didn’t seem to catch the hint that you were not single nor were you ready to mingle.
If he was being honest, he didn’t know who the guy was. He had heard from a few team members that he was some big, upcoming actor that most of the world was going crazy for but Daniel didn’t care. He didn’t care if the man was the biggest name in the world. He was going after Daniel’s girl and he didn’t like that one bit. 
Most guests tended to stick to their guided tours or near the back so they were out of the team’s way, yet this actor seemed to have gravitated towards you. He had been blatant in his attempts with flirting and chatting with you, going as far as leaning on the table you were currently working on until it became near impossible to continue with your job. He could see the discomfort in your face, could see the way you were getting progressively more annoyed and, despite knowing you could handle yourself, the last thing he wanted was you to be on the frog page after punching the douche in the face (even if it would've been well-deserved in his eyes).
“Got a problem here, mate?” 
The man—his name was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to care to remember—turned away from you to look at the approaching driver. “Hey, Daniel, right? Huge fan. You’ve got a great team here.”
“Yeah, the best of the best,” Daniel said as he slided in behind you, his hand resting on your shoulder as your body relaxed under his touch. “Sunshine here has the best brain you could ask for in Formula One.”
The man’s gaze slid back down to you, his lips twitching upwards in what you assumed was meant to be a charming smile. “So, your name is Sunshine?”
You opened your mouth to reply, but Daniel beat you to it.
“Ha no, I can call her Sunshine,” he said with a massive smile on your face, one that would leave the people around you and out of ear shot to believe this was a happy conversation. “You can mind your own fucking business.”
The man’s face immediately soured. “Excuse me?”
“You’re a guest, courtesy of Red Bull, and that is the only reason I’m not dragging your sorry ass out of the paddock,” Daniel continued, stepping a little closer so you were leaning back against him. “Now, you can leave now or you can sit in the back of the garage like a good dog and leave my girl alone to do her work. What’s it gonna be?”
“You can’t talk to me like that,” he insisted with a scoff. “Do you know who I am?”
“No, but I don’t really care. You’re on my turf right now, and what I say goes. If I don’t want you here, you’ll be gone with a snap of my fingers.” Daniel stated so casually, like his whole body wasn’t humming with the desire to just punch the guy in the face. “Piss off now.”
You had barely waited until he was gone before you spun around in your seat, looking up at him with an amused smile. “Are you taking lessons from Max or something? That felt very Mad Max-coded.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “I was teaching him a lesson.” 
“No, you were jealous and it was hot,” you corrected with a grin as you reached towards him, your arms winding around his torso. “But thank you. I was two seconds away from throwing my laptop at his head.”
He laughed as he leaned down, hands gently holding your hair back as he kissed you. “Always here to be your knight in shining armour, Sunshine.”
.
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gurugirl · 1 year ago
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Hidden | mcc!harry
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Summary: You convince Harry to take you to the Halloween Haunted House downtown. Of course you’ll both be well disguised - hidden in plain site. Thanks to this request!
Warning: 18+ only, smut, public sex, mask kink, voyeur kink (+ this is kidnapper!harry x reader and so this might not be your thing)
Word Count: 4042
Mint Chocolate Chip masterlist
“Look, Harry,” you showed him the flyer stuffed between the loose mail that had come in that day, “Haunted House Halloween: An Erotic Masquerade.”
Harry peered at the glossy pamphlet with a creepy-looking old building and the words at the bottom with contact information. $45 per person at the door. Extras not included.
“Can we go? I really want to go! Halloween has always been my favorite and we’ve never done anything together on Halloween. Please?” You sat the flyer down and slotted yourself between Harry��s legs as he sat on the couch, getting to your knees and rubbing your palms up his thighs, “It would mean so much to me. We’d have masks on so no one would even know it was us.”
Harry gave you an expressionless look. He wasn’t quite sure. He wanted to make you happy but he hated to go out in public. And he was sure there would be a lot of people at the event.
“I don’t know, pup. It’s risky with so many people.”
“Harry,” you softened your eyes and took his ringed hand in yours, bringing his fingertips to your lips, dotting little kisses to them, “I love you. How can I convince you that it’ll be worth it? That no one will ever see us?”
Well, you knew the answer to that. You knew how to get your way when it came to Harry. Pushing your fingers over his crotch, you bit your lip with your eyes on his, and pressed over his cock.
“Puppy…” he warned. He knew what you were doing. And he knew he was going to give in. If you were both in masks what was the harm anyway?
You laid your head on his thigh, looked up at him innocently, and began fumbling with his pants button, “Harry… I’m gonna suck you off now, okay? Make you come really hard and get me all messy.”
With your eyes still on his, Harry cradled the back of your head and licked his lips, “S’this what you think it’s gonna take for me to say yes?”
You nodded, your cheek smushed into his thigh. You were thriving from the eye contact he was giving you with his warm hand at the back of your head, all loving and soft with anticipation.
When you’d opened up his pants you could tell he was already thickened up to your delight. You loved making him hard. Loved that you did that to him. Loved that he picked you out of everyone because you were his special girl.
You shifted yourself and sat up so you could reach into his pants and pull him out. Sticking your hand under the band of his underwear he grunted as he sat back and put his hands behind his head to let you do your thing.
It was a struggle to get him out fully. He wasn’t helping you at all. He kept his bottom planted firmly on the couch, where normally he’d lift up so you could pull at his pants. But this was your way of showing him how much you wanted to go out for Halloween.
But you did manage to pull his dick out. Your fingers came into contact with his girthy shaft and you pushed his underwear down so you could see all of him. As you began to gently slide your hand up and down over his foreskin you looked up at him and could tell he was already gone. Dark eyes, pink lips parted, small puffs of breath falling from his lungs.
You gathered a bit of saliva in your mouth and pressed your lips to his tip, pushing the moisture out with your tongue and over his cock, using your fingers to slip it over his skin and down as far as your hand could go before his pants got in the way. You repeated, getting his cock coated with your saliva, little by little as your hand worked it over his shaft.
“It’s so yummy,” you moaned as you swiped your tongue upward to his frenulum, eyes pinned to his.
You were a fucking pro at this. Harry had taught you exactly what he liked and you were a quick learner. And now you’d perfected the skill of giving head to his preference. So much so, that Harry was already growing angrily hard with your lips and tongue and fingers working him into a frenzy.
When you’d finally put him out of his misery and you wrapped your plush, wet lips around his bulbous head he moaned and closed his eyes. He loved to feel you. Feel your lips and your tongue taking him in. The way you suckled and lapped at him as you forced yourself down until he bumped into your throat always had him trembling.
He gasped when you swallowed around his cock and spluttered over him, almost gagging but not quite. When he looked down at you your eyes were fixed up at him, already tearing up a bit.
“Puppy… my best girl,” he smoothed his hand over the back of your head as you attempted to smile at his sweet gesture, though it was hard with his thick cock lodged deep in your mouth.
So you went down further, sucking in a breath through your nostrils, and lowered down until his tip wasn’t just nudging into your throat but was slid into the back of it and pushing past your tonsils. He groaned and that spurred you on further as you closed your eyes and nuzzled down, your nose hitting his tummy and your chin pushed into his cotton underwear. You wished you could take his balls into your hands but this would have to do as he still had his pants over his thighs and only his cock was out for you.
Once you began to gag over him and the tears in your eyes started to run down your cheeks Harry bucked his hips up and pressed at the back of your head. You put your hands on his thighs to stabilize yourself as you gurgled and squeezed your eyes closed.
“Fuck… c’mere pup,” Harry’s voice was strained as he whined his words.
You popped off of him, gasping for breath as you did so, and quickly climbed into his lap as he asked.
Harry pushed your little dress up to your waist and pulled you down over him, your bare pussy already wet and puffy with need. You never wore panties when Harry was around. That was the rule.
“Want to come, puppy? Want to come with me?” Harry asked as he cupped your face.
You writhed your slick pussy against his deliciously hard cock. He was already throbbing. So close to coming, “Yes. If it’s okay.”
Harry moaned and looked down at where you two were pressed together, “It’s my favorite. Of course it’s okay. Put me inside, puppy. Ride me and make yourself come.”
And what else was there to do but obey? You pressed his tip into your entrance and let out a shaky moan as you slowly encased him and he pushed your insides apart until you had him stuffed into your pussy so deep you were seated over him, wetting his pants.
With Harry’s hands on your ass, he helped you lift up and slip down. With little gushy sounds coming from your pussy as you moved over him.
You both moaned and gasped, “Can I rub it? I want to come…” you panted as you looked down to where you were both connected. You needed to slip your fingers over your clit and you’d be done for in moments.
“Go on, baby. Been such a sweet girl for me.”
You slid your hand between your bodies and circled your clit as you continued to take his cock into you deeply. He was trembling at the way you were squeezing around him.
“Ahh!” You moaned when you felt your pussy flutter and Harry’s dick press into your guts repeatedly.
“Coming, puppy? Yeah? Needed my cock, didn’t you? It’s okay. There you go…” Harry tried to sound put together but he was panting and whining as he spoke his words to you as you came around him.
You gripped him tight and spasmed around him, thighs quivering and eyes wide, “Fuck! I need you, Harry!”
Harry clenched his jaw as his balls tightened against his body until he was pouring himself into you. He pumped his orgasm into your tummy and held you down with his teeth gritted, feeling that euphoric relief that only you could ever provide him.
.           .           .
You ordered your masks online. Harry’s was a skeleton mask and yours was a jeweled black cat mask. Harry was iffy about yours because it didn’t cover your lips and chin but once you tried it on for him he nodded, “Okay. That should do.”
He wore a full black suit with a black tie and you wore a long-sleeved black bodysuit with black high heels. It was actually quite sexy. And you thought Harry looked sexy too.
The haunted house was downtown. It was at an old historical home that was preserved among the modern buildings and skyscrapers. It was often used for events, dinners, parties… This time it was decked out for a Halloween masquerade. The night sky above with the old-fashioned lights hanging from the front façade and creepy spider webs at the entry made it feel so real.
There was a group waiting at the front, as people entered one by one.
When you and Harry finally got to the door your payment was taken and black plastic bracelets put on your wrists. The interior was breathtaking. Tall ceilings, crystal chandelier, a big open space for people to dance a section with a bar and tables, and seating along the wall at the back.
“This is incredible!” You held onto Harry’s hand (or better yet, he wasn’t letting go of yours) as you looked all around. The decorations were scary but tasteful somehow. Everyone was wearing a mask. The music was instrumental and slow but had a touch of something spooky as it was on a minor scale.
You both stood at the bar to order drinks. Harry decided against drinking anything. He was still on edge and wanted to keep an eye out in case of anything that should happen. Even the bartender you ordered from was wearing a mask. She was Medusa and her entire outfit was sleek but she wore a wild wig of snakes.
Harry continued to keep your hand in his as you walked around the room to check everything out. Your drink was tangy and refreshing. The further you got into the space you noticed there were smaller areas behind doorways with activities. A Ouija board room, a room with a witch's cauldron and various ingredients set on a table to add, a dark room that, once you stepped in you realized was almost as large as the main room. Couches and settees lined the walls, rugs on the floor, dim lighting at the edge, and people making out in the dark shadows, “This place has everything, Harry!” You laughed quietly as you pulled him along to the various areas.
Harry wasn’t hating it. He went because he knew you wanted to and because he tried to do anything he could to make you happy. But he was feeling more and more confident about the whole thing the longer you were there. The setup was impressive. The space was packed with people and you both were well disguised.
And also, he thought you looked absolutely gorgeous in your outfit. A tight bodysuit hugged your curves and your lips were painted a deep red. He’d consider talking you into going to the dark room for a bit of fooling around if the moment was right. He now understood the ‘erotic’ part of the masquerade. This felt almost like a big sex party. Though no one appeared to be having sex in the open, things were definitely lustfully charged.
When you’d finished your drink you turned to look at Harry, “Let’s dance a little.”
Harry shook his head, “Nahh. I don’t want to.”
He could see the pout on your lips as you protested, “I don’t want to dance by myself, Harry,” you pushed your fingers in between his and pulled at him.
“Well, I wouldn’t let you go out there to dance alone anyway. You’re not to leave my side.”
“But that’s not fair. Look,” you pointed toward the large space where masked adults were griding and slow dancing with dim lights flashing, “Just a little. Come on. Please?”
Harry sighed and looked toward the darkest corners of the dance area. There were people there, swaying and moving in synch. He could handle a bit of dancing. If it was to make you happy he’d do it.
“Fine.”
You squealed as you pulled at his hand and moved into the dancing bodies, but Harry kept pulling at you until you were outside of the area where the dim lights couldn’t find you.
Harry put his big hands on your hips and immediately you both began to swing softly. You put your arms over his shoulders and he nudged you in closer, “You look really pretty like this puppy.”
His voice was deep and you grinned at his compliment.
A couple that was dancing a few feet away had their masks moved off of their faces and were kissing as they danced together. You bit your lip and looked back up at Harry’s skeleton mask.
“What is it?” You could hear the smirk on his mouth. You wished you could see it.
“Just feels like a place where we could get away with a lot of stuff,” you swayed your hips and Harry nodded in response to you.
It did seem like that kind of place. It was dark inside. Lots of rooms, alcohol, hidden corners…
Harry dipped down to speak into your ear, “Turn around,” he pushed your hips and you turned in his arms so you were facing away. Suddenly he pulled you into him, your back into his chest and you both continued to slowly move to the rhythm.
When you felt his hands smooth up your ribs and over your tits you gasped and turned your head as he spoke into your ear, “What kind of things do you think we could get away with?”
You raised your arms and put your hands behind his neck, “I don’t know. This is a good example,” you pressed your bum into his crotch teasingly. But when you tried to move your hips away Harry brought a hand down from your breast to hold you in place, keeping his hips glued to your bottom.
“Now you’ve gone and done it, puppy.” He whispered into your ear. He kept one of his hands on your breast, kneading and squeezing as he ground his hips into your ass. You could feel him getting hard behind you and a small moan fell from your throat involuntarily.
You rubbed yourself over him harder and heard a groan from him, “Better behave.”
But you didn’t want to behave. You were feeling the sensuality of the dancefloor and everyone around you. The masks hid everyone’s identities and if their masks weren’t on their faces, their lips were connected, hiding behind skin pressed together and dark shadows.
“I want to be naughty,” you nearly purred as Harry pushed himself into your bottom and he moaned into your ear. You whispered, “I want to be bad.”
Harry couldn’t get close enough to you. He didn’t know what had gotten into himself but perhaps it was the way everyone around you two were practically dry-humping and getting themselves off while still clothed. He was sure he heard a man grunt and whine as the girl in front of him, pressed into him, coaxed him through softly with dirty words. Of course, who knew? Harry couldn’t be sure it was the sound of someone orgasming in their pants because he couldn’t see them clearly.
He felt your fingers over his as you pushed his hand down between your legs. You were warm and you inhaled a sharp breath when you pushed his digits over your fabric-covered clit. You guided his fingers over yourself as you leaned your head back into his shoulder.
Harry nudged himself into you, gently rocking his thickened prick into the fabric of his pants and into your soft bum.
You were both panting and grinding together in the dark next to other couples who were doing the same. It was like an illicit sex corner in a haunted mansion where no one knew for sure what anyone else was doing.
Soon he felt that your warm center was growing wet under the pads of his fingers. He could tell your body was growing limp against him as he kept one arm steady around your middle to hold you up, “Hold on, puppy. You’re almost there aren’t you? Filthy girl getting herself off on my fingers right in front of everyone here. Making a mess of my hand already,” his husky voice gave away that he was painfully turned on himself. He couldn’t hide it anyway, his cock was throbbing and his skin was rubbing into his underwear as he rocked himself harder into your plush bottom, the perfect amount of friction for his foreskin to move over his tip repeatedly. As good as it felt, he didn’t want to come in his trousers. He had another plan, now that he was beyond the point of no return.
You cried out as Harry hushed you. You could feel him solid, leaking between your cheeks as you came on his hand. Your legs buckled and you rocked yourself into his hand and grasped his arms. You couldn’t help yourself. You never could with Harry. He just did something to you. It had been that way since the beginning. It was as if your body reacted to him without you even needing to do anything.
You’d made a mess between your legs, which you felt when Harry finally moved his fingers from you and softly ushered you back to him, “Good girl. Needed to come didn’t you, puppy? It’s okay. You know I always give you what you want. Just like you always give me what I want.”
You opened your eyes and saw a couple staring at you. They were facing one another, griding to the music. Her lips were dropped open and she was moaning. Her mask barely covered her face so you could see her eyes on yours. The man, however, you couldn’t see, but his mask was aimed at you and Harry. They both seemed to be watching what had just happened. It was dark and perhaps they hadn’t seen everything but you had been loud.
Harry began to pull at you. You were too far gone to protest or to be embarrassed at what that couple might have just seen. Soon you were in the dark room with the plush couches and low lighting at the edges. Harry dragged you with him to the corner of a couch and made you climb onto his lap. You could hardly see his mask in the darkness but you could hear the moans and gasps of others all around.
Harry lifted his mask and pushed yours off your face and his mouth was on yours so fast you nearly fell backward off his lap. You could feel him fooling with his buckle and you leaned away, “What are you doing?”
“I need to come puppy and I’m about to burst. Need you to pump me in your hand and then put me in your mouth so I can come and we don’t make a big mess. Understood? I don’t think anyone in here will see us. It’s too dark. Besides, look,” he gestured toward the couple at the opposite side of the couch. You could hardly make out their bodies but you could see them moving rhythmically and you could hear what sounded like sex, skin sliding and gently thwacking together.
“Oh my god…” you whispered as you looked back toward Harry.
“Pup, I really need it. I’m in pain. Your wet pussy is all over my hand and it’s driving me crazy. If you take me in your mouth it’s the only way to keep me from coming in my pants.”
You would do anything he wanted. There was no way you’d say no. He had made you come moments earlier so it was the least you could do, “I could ride you. You can come inside of me. Might be even easier.”
“But your bodysuit–“
You interrupted, “Has a button to open it at the crotch for practical purposes,” you laughed. But it was truly meant for practical purposes. It’s why you selected the bodysuit. An opening so you could use the bathroom without having to take the full bodysuit off.
“Fuck baby, you don’t mind doing that?” Harry's vision was fuzzy he was so turned on. Normally he’d never go for something like that but the atmosphere of the place, and you were getting to him.
You straddled him properly, “Pull yourself out and I’ll get this open,” you whispered as you plucked at your button and unfolded the fabric from your wet crotch.
Harry was already out and stroking himself by the time you’d finally pulled the material off your crotch. He was so hard it almost hurt as he pulled you down on himself with a guttural moan. But you were so slick you had him coated and were gripping around him in no time.
Harry set his feet flat onto the floor and fucked himself up into you slowly. Each thrust had you bouncing slightly, and squishing down over him each time you fell. You both panted until Harry captured your mouth, his tongue finding yours right away. His mouth caught your moans as he slid himself into you deeply. Your head was spinning. You couldn’t believe you were having full-on sex in public with another couple likely doing the same thing as you just feet away.
The music and the noise from the others in the room covered the sounds that were coming from your own body. Your wet hole slopped over Harry’s wide cock and you were sure that despite him not wanting to make a mess, his pants were already wet and coated in your cream.
When Harry’s cock began to thrum inside of you and his groans into your mouth grew louder and more desperate he began to plunge into you faster. You held onto his shoulders tight and he shook as his thighs worked himself into your pussy eagerly. You knew he was about to come.
“Give me your come. I need it, Harry,” you whispered against his lips as a man not far from you let out a cough of ecstasy. It would be hard to deny that whoever that was had been coming at that very moment. The other man he was with moaning pathetically.
“Fuck, puppy…” Harry groaned against your lips as he held you down over his cock tight, “Coming… fuck ‘m coming… milking my cock like you need it…”
Harry leaned his head back and his mask slid down over his face as he released into you, small moans falling from his mouth. You loved making him come. Loved how it made you feel that he got so weak with you.
When Harry’s cock was properly drained he lifted his head back up and looked at you from behind his skeleton mask, “This is the best Halloween party I’ve ever been to.”
You laughed as you nuzzled against Harry, wrapping your arms around his neck, his cock still deep inside of you, “It really is. Want to go dance again?”
Harry chuckled lowly, “If we dance again we might just find ourselves back in this room fucking in this very spot. Or maybe I’ll have you bent over the couch arm next time…”
You grinned and leaned back to look at him, “Sounds perfect.”
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johnwickb1tsch · 6 months ago
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bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 42 all chapters
WARNINGS FOR THIS FIC: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘
42. home sweet home  
Although all you wanted in the world was to return home when you were trapped in The Continental, you find as you pull up the driveway you suddenly feel the tiniest bit of trepidation, just a hint of nervousness for living alone in this isolated mountain retreat here with John.
You want to trust him with all your heart, blithely steadfast in your confidence as much as your love. But there is a tiny whisper of doubt creeping up from the dungeons in the back of your mind.
You do not think John is insane. You do, however, believe he experienced a bit of a psychotic break in the days when he first took you, a bomb loaded with the pressures of past battle trauma, excruciating grief, and fear of losing control-i.e. you. 
He’d been so good to you in the city, but the last time you dwelled in this glorified cabin, you cannot forget that up to the last hours, you were a prisoner. 
Now, you’ve agreed to marry this man, and he holds your hand as you walk through the door on your own power, like things were always normal between you.  
Maybe you’re the crazy one, because you resolve to lift your chin and plow forth as though nothing bad had happened here. What you want is here in the present, and shining in the future. What do you have to gain, by dwelling on the past? You will put it behind you. Not forgotten–but forgiven. You know that is the only real way your love will survive–will thrive. Yet you also know, deep down, this vow you make to yourself will be easier said than done. 
You bring in your suitcases, and look over the repairs that were finalized while you were gone. It all looks essentially good as new. The bullet holes in the walls have been patched. There’s a new rug in the great room; there was no getting the blood out of the old one. 
Dog seems happy to be home too, trotting around and sniffing, making sure all is in its proper place in his domain.
You lose track of John in the big house; when you go searching for him, you find him just standing in the kitchen, staring at the place where one of the intruders had nearly ended him with a knife–before you shot them in the throat. Certain he’s having one of his flashbacks, you call out to him in a gentle voice, trying to talk him back from it without startling him. You’re no doctor, of course, but you may have fallen into some Google spirals about how to care for someone with PTSD at the Continental. 
Finally he responds to your voice, turning towards you with a haunted look in his eyes. “It’s ok,” you soothe him, reaching for him now that he’s woken from his trance. “We’re ok.” You think you actually believe it, too. He wraps you up in a tight embrace, burying his face in your hair and breathing deeply. You stand like that in the kitchen, just hugging, for what feels like an hour, but is probably only five minutes. 
“Do we…need to go somewhere else?” you ask quietly, sad at the thought of leaving the cabin, but wondering if fresh surroundings might be better. 
“No,” he insists. “Unless you want to.” Offering you this choice even just a month ago would have  been an impossible thing for him. 
“I’m fine, so far. I still like it here.” 
He nods, and presses his forehead to yours. “Y/n…” He sighs. “When I lost Helen, I wanted to die. Then, I wanted to survive, but just to kill. But you…you made me want to live again. It’s all I could think, while I was fighting. I want to live. For you.”
You kiss him softly; soon it grows into a heady lock of lips, John’s arms around you lifting you to your tiptoes. Between kisses he asks, “Can I take you upstairs?” 
This is the thing that gives you pause. Maybe the kitchen is the traumatic room in the house for John, but that luxurious bedroom upstairs has been your personal Bastille for the past months, and for a moment you freeze, finding that you are afraid to take the leap of faith with him. 
It’s his turn to offer comfort, when he notices your reluctance, and just maybe interprets it correctly. “It’s alright,” he assures you. “Come with me. Let me show you something.” With your hand in his he leads you up the stairs. Your steps are slow, but he doesn’t drag you along, being patient with you. When you cross the threshold of the bedroom your heart is pounding in your chest like it damn well means to escape through your ribcage, but you force yourself to take one more step with him to the keypad by the door. 
He starts punching in a long sequence of numbers, then he takes you utterly by surprise when he presses your hand to the sensor. The keypad is mounted so high you can barely reach it.  A few moments later the little green light flashes. “There. See?”
He shuts the door and you jump at that familiar, dreaded, click. “John?” You hate how small and needy your voice sounds. 
“Put your hand up, honey.” 
With your heart in your throat you reach up to touch the sensor, reluctant as though you almost suspect a trick. But then the lock on the door clicks open. 
You aren’t proud of the sob of relief that escapes you. John catches you up in his arms again, holding you. Until he wrapped you up, you didn’t realize that you were shaking. “There now, see?” he says soothingly, just like you’d spoken to him in the kitchen. “It’s yours, honey. Everything I have is yours.” 
A long, brittle sigh escapes you as you bury your nose in his neck. It doesn’t really register for you, what he means by that statement. All that matters are his arms around you, and that fucking door is open. “All I want is you,” you tell him, and you mean it.
“You’ve got me. I’m ok. Are you ok?”
You nod, offering a watery but genuine smile. He kisses your cheeks, which you didn’t realize were wet with tears. “My sweet girl. You have the biggest heart. What are you doing with a devil like me?” 
Your laugh sounds shaky too–did he forget that at first, he didn’t really give you a choice? “Having the adventure of a lifetime?”
He huffs at that, as amused as you are. Suddenly you are weightless as he hoists you in his arms, and takes you to the bed. 
He doesn’t say it aloud, but you fancy that you feel it. Every kiss he presses to your aching skin, every soft caress, feels embedded with apology, and you accept it. With open arms, you take it all. 
***
You wake before John from your post-coital nap. It’s late afternoon. You can tell, from the sideways light streaming through the windows. Quietly you slide out of bed, picking up your clothes in a bundle because you haven’t unpacked your robe yet from your suitcase. You dress downstairs, so you will not wake him. 
Knowing someone will have to go to the store soon, you browse the pantry for a snack, finding a granola bar. You go stand by the windows while you eat it, looking out at the forest. That is when, out the corner of your eye, you realize the light on the lock control on the front door is green. 
You can’t remember the last time that happened. 
When you’d unwittingly wandered into Wick’s lair after that hike for coffee and sundries? It wasn’t even quite a year ago, but it feels like a lifetime. 
You cannot stop yourself now. Your feet move on their own to the door, trying the knob. 
It turns freely, and so of course, you pull. 
The portal swings open, so naturally, you step outside. 
The early fall air is crisp, and has never smelled so sweet. You lift your face to the sun, soaking it in. 
Have you arrived? Is this the life you always wanted for yourself? 
You decide to wander, just a little. You walk around the driveway, stretching your legs, and then you meander to the edge of the woods. It’s almost as though the trees are calling you. You take a step, and then another, until you are in the forest, and you are happy. 
You’re not really gone long. Maybe twenty minutes, all in all, just a tiny little ramble. You pass back through the front door as quietly as you can muster, not wanting to wake John. You start, when you find him sitting at the kitchen island, with his head in his hands. You are startled, when you realize he’s been crying. 
“John?” You practically leap across the floor to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
He grabs you up in arms, holding you so tightly your ribs creak. “I thought…you’d left,” he admits quietly. He squeezes you again, shuddering as he buries his face in your hair. He doesn’t say more, but you think you might know the rest. The fact that he was sitting in the kitchen, and not tearing through the woods after you…if that was your decision, would he have let you go? 
You freeze, your breath ceasing, your very heart screeching to a stop in your chest. 
This man. 
How is it possible, for so much love to fit inside your insignificant shell of a body, for this man?
You draw back to look at him, really look at him, those mocha dark puppy eyes that tear your heart to shreds fixed on yours. “I’m never going to leave you, John.” It spills from your lips before you can even think about it, but once its out you realize it’s absolutely true. After everything he put you through…you still just know you will never be happy, without him by your side. Nothing and no one else will do. 
A psychologist would have a fucking field day with you. They would say things like Stockholm Syndrome and shared trauma bond, abandonment issues and codependent relationship. You would tell them to fuck the fuck off–and that Stockholm Syndrome is made-up bullshit devised by two male psychologists in the seventies to describe ‘hysterical female behavior’. 
You’ve known people who have made worse decisions for much less reward.
“I will always come back to you,” you tell him. “You’re stuck with me now. Like…a wart that won’t go away.” 
This makes him laugh, and it’s such a beautiful sight. You kiss his tears away, then his mouth. It soon turns into another tonsil-inspecting affair that leaves you both breathless. “I’m going to have to take you back upstairs now,” he says with a sniff, only half joking. 
“How about you take me to the grocery store? It’s going to be dinner time soon.”
He chuckles at that, nods, and kisses your forehead. “Okay.”
It’s almost like you’re an old married couple already.
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debonairprincesposts · 10 months ago
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If you have requests open I'd love to request a Lucifer x reader angst. When he finds out they're dating Charlie, he gets too protective and ends up scaring them away. After seeing how upset she gets when the reader breaks up with her because of him, he has to try and patch things up.
Thank you anon for this wonderful request! I thrive on angst. Ask and you shall receive! Mostly.
Anyway! Here is your Lucifer x reader angst.
Hope it’s to your liking-
Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
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It’s finally happening. Charlie was finally going to introduce her partner to her dad. She just hopes that he doesn’t hate (Name) as soon as he sees them.
“Calm down, Char! I’m sure it’ll go great- I mean, how bad could it be, right?” You tried to comfort Charlie. Not like you were any better. You were just as nervous, maybe even more. You were going to meet the king of hell for heaven’s sake!
“No- you’re right! There’s no way he won’t like you! You’re like- the nicest person I know! He’s bound to take a liking to you-,” Charlie says, pacing around the hotel lobby. Nobody was present at the moment, she told everyone that she was gonna have an important meeting with her dad and had Vaggie request that nobody be present in the lobby at that time.
Knock knock
He’s here! Already?! You just hope that everything goes well and he ends up liking you. Charlie would be pretty upset if he didn’t. You would too-
“Charlie! So good to see you again!”
Lucifer said as he basically crushed her in a bear hug with a grin.
“G-Good to see you too, dad!” Charlie wheezes out as she hugs him back.
He lets go as he walks into the lobby, “So what is this important thing you wanted to show me, Char Char?”
“Uhm- dad, I just wanted you to meet someone really important to me, so- Uhm,” She drags you over by the shoulders, “meet (Name)! My lover!” Says Charlie with a nervous smile.
“Pleasure to meet you, sir!” You extend your hand for a shake, Lucifer grabs your hand with narrowed eyes and a strained grin as his grip on your hand tightens to a painful degree. “Likewise.”
Awkward silence…
“Alright!” Says Charlie with a clap to clear the awkwardness, “Why don’t you two get to know each other while I go get us some drinks.”
You look at Charlie with a pleading look to not leave you alone with her dad, because you know for a fact you would’ve been dead ten times over from the way he’s glaring at you if looks could kill.
Charlie gives you an apologetic smile as she quickily makes her way to the bar in the lobby.
“So,” He suddenly says, startling you, you turn to look at him. The way he’s looking at you tells you he’s displeased that you’re in a relationship with Charlie , “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Distrust clear in his voice.
Sweat drips down your temple. You take a deep breath, “I love her, sir. I want to try my best to make her happy like she does with me.” You say with a shaky smile.
His eyes narrow even further than before, “I’m not buying it. You’re a sinner! The only reason you’d be down here is if you did some really terrible things. Why would a terrible person like you want to be with Charlie. What is your plan exactly? Are you trying to exploit her kindness? Steal her money? Her life?”
He’s basically glaring now.
Your eyes widen as you immediately go to deny all the things he said, “What? N-No! I would never- I love Charlie! I wouldn’t ever do anything like that!”
“Bullshit!” Venom drips from his voice, he’s actually really starting to scare you now. Charlie, where are you?? “I want you as far away from my daughter as possible. Do you understand?”
“But sir-,”
“I said- Do you understand?” His eyes flash red as his horns slightly peak from under his skin.
“O-okay-,” you say dejectedly as you try to keep your tears at bay.
“Wonderful!” He goes back to normal as if he didn’t just basically threaten you, grin wide and everything, “I’m sure you’ll be gone by tomorrow morning, right?” He says with a threatening grin. “And Charlie better not hear a thing about this, clear?”
“Crystal.” You say as you look away to hide your tears.
After Charlie comes back with the drinks, you excuse yourself to the restroom to wash your face.
Charlie shoots you a worried glance. You flash her a small smile as you pass her.
“You didn’t say anything mean, did you dad?” Charlie shoots her dad a suspicious look.
“Pfft- What? No- I would never!” He lied as he took a sip of his drink, “They’re just the sweetest person ever! Good find Charlie!”
Her eyes sparkle as she heard what he said, “Right? They’re so nice to me too. They make me breakfast in bed practically everyday! Oh- and help with managing the hotel when I’m not here too! And their massages are the best! I love them so much!” Charlie continues going off on a tangent about all the nice things you’ve done and such.
As Lucifer listens to her talk, he starts to feel a bit guilty about how he treated you earlier but erases that thought from his head. He needs to keep his little apple pie safe. No matter the cost.
(Name) never returned to the lobby after that. Lucifer decided to excuse himself deciding that it’s gotten late and that he needs to attend to his “kingly” duties tomorrow. Charlie goes to the bedroom to find (Name) already asleep. So she goes to bed too with a smile on her face. In her mind, her dad and her partner liked each other. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
The next morning, Lucifer gets a call from Charlie. She’s sobbing, barely getting her breaths out as she tells him that you broke up with her.
“Why would they break up with me!” She sobs, “Was it because of me? Because I did something?-,”
“No Charlie! Definitely not your fault. Maybe they left for a good reason?” He says unsure of himself.
Charlie pauses on her end, “Did you do something, dad?”
“O-Of course not, sweetie!-,”
“Dad, please!”
“…” Lucifer is at a loss. He didn’t know Charlie would be this devastated. “I’ll go find them and talk to them for you, okay apple pie?” He settles.
Charlie sniffles, “Really?”
“Really! They’ll be back with you in no time! Not a problem at all! So just- stop crying, okay? Please?” If he needs to go find that sinner his daughter likes then so be it.
“Okay,” Charlie says, “ But please- don’t say mean things to them okay?”
“Of course, sweetie,”
They both hang up.
Lucifer messed up bad. He didn’t mean to make Charlie that upset. He needs to find that sinner, and convince them to go back to Charlie. He just hopes he didn’t scare them too much the last time they both talked. He needs to fix this.
You moved back to the little apartment you had. It wasn’t much, but at least it was a roof over your head. As you head out to try find a new job, Lucifer pops outta nowhere making you take several steps back.
“Hey there! Mind having a talk with lil old me?” He says with an expecting grin.
You were scared for your life. You already did as he asked so why was he here?!
You shakily smile as you answer him, “Of course, sir.”
His grin widens as he opens a portal to a cafe of sorts. He leads you inside to a private booth. He motions at the seat infront of him, gesturing you to take a seat. He calls the waiter over, orders you both drinks then you settle in silence as the waiter leaves.
He clears his throat, startling the crap out of you. “So,” he says awkwardly, “How are you today?” He asks as he tries to start small talk.
“Fine,” You reply.
He winces at your dry response.
“So uhh- Charlie sounded pretty upset this morning when she called me,” He says as he fiddles with his fingers.
You were too scared to say anything really. You already knew Charlie was going to be upset, but it’s not like you had much choice in the matter.
He was gauging your reaction to his words. You seem to be just as upset as Charlie sounded on the phone with him earlier. You look like you are close to tears.
He sighed as he finally got his thoughts together, “I’m sorry.” He says looking at his lap, seeming completely ashamed of his actions.
Your head snapped up fast enough to give you whiplash from hearing him apologize. Apologize? He’s apologizing? To you?? The King of Hell is apologizing to a lowly sinner like you?!
“I shouldn’t have done what I had. I should’ve gotten to know you better before judging you immediately.” He finally looks up from his lap to look at you to find you sat then completely frozen with a shocked look on your face.
“You love her, don’t you?” He asks you with a hopeful expression. He smiles in relief when you nod with a soft ‘yes’. His smile softens when he sees how tense you are, you look like you’re ready to bolt at a moments notice. He grimaces on the inside. He shouldn’t have been that harsh. He judged you too early. “How about we try to get to know each other for a bit. You are going to be my child in law sooner or later, aren’t you?” He takes a sip of his drink with a grin.
Your eyes glisten with tears of relief. Lucifer panics a bit at the sight of your tears before you explain that it’s just tears of happiness. He calms down at your explanation. The fact that you’re crying tears of joy over knowing that you could still be with Charlie made Lucifer change his mind about you. You might just be what Charlie needs. He hopes that Charlie can forgive him for what he did.
Negative thoughts aside! He needs to get to know his daughter’s partner better! Properly this time.
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healer-pop · 9 months ago
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hii im here to add to ur ask night LOOL any personal ideas on how venture flirts? like what kind of stuff they say to get you going etc.
okok ok. bare with me but there is so much I want to get into here. there’s differences in Venture’s flirting style depending on a couple of things:
1.) your relationship to them
this is the biggest circumstance that changes most of their style, mainly because they are far too nervous to fuck up any possibility once they’ve gotten too attached, but if they just have a slight crush on you, it’ll be less obvious.
I’m talking about the difference between Venture knocking over everyone’s morning drink while trying to get you yours, stumbling over their words hopelessly, walking into a pit accidentally while talking to you, and just otherwise being a fool while head over heels in love with you, too scared to make a move or confession (especially if you’re a more reserved person!) because they appreciate your time and company more than any romantic motives they might have, even though it’s completely obvious to everyone not the two of you AND being such a goof ball you just have the absolute unbearable urge to kiss their flushed cheeks, even platonically, having inside jokes with you that make you laugh so hard your ribs hurt for days, always knowing your favorite of everything, bursting out dancing with them when some sort of goofy song starts on their playlist, and them inviting you to watch the stars with them.
they’re not mutually exclusive, one can edge into the other easily, but Venture sometimes has a problem catching up with their own emotions when they’re so focused on archeology first and everything else second. it tends to be the latter one first which progresses into the other one, but it can seriously go either way. but either way, they aren’t outright flirting with you because they just don’t seem to be that type *cough, cough* wORKAHOLIC. unless Tracer and D.Va are having a best pickup line competition, then you’ll see a bit more of their witty, smoother side. But again, it’s not serious, until…
you get into a relationship with them
this is where Venture absolutely thrives. and this isn’t a second section because this is dependent on what your status to them is. your partner flirts with you in so many different ways, it’s almost hard to keep track of. they are so loving that it’s seriously all encompassing. before I move on, I’ll just state that they are way more self-assured when your relationship status to them is clear and stable. at the beginning, they’ll be more mild, but as time goes on, they’ll get more openly affectionate to the point that it’s nearly impossible to tell you guys AREN’T together. it’s very ebb and flow, though, because Venture spends a ton of time in the field, and when you guys aren’t together, it tends to come over text/calls, which is obviously more private.
so going down the list:
Venture loves to use cheesy pick up lines on you!!! Humor is a major part of their personality and you’ll catch lines like “Are you a Shambali monk? Because you’re totally transcending my mind.” and “I would never bury our love in a coniferous forest, because the acidity of the soil would ruin any chance of preservation.” they don’t really care who’s around to hear as long as they’ve got you either giggling or hiding your face in embarrassment. definitely to the dismay of the other Wayfinders, lol. they’ll shout it across a field, down from a pit to hear their words of love echo back to you.
They will always carry your favorite snacks and drinks in their pack or pockets! Those cargo pants have huge pockets and Venture puts them to good use, by always having your favorites on hand, when you visit them at their excavation sites! It’s so sweet, and 100% done for your own happiness. They always manage to know just what you’re craving and have it nearby. It’s like a primal thing or something. Being able to always nourish your love.
PHYSICAL TOUCH!!!!!!! Venture is a super, duper touchy person when they are in a relationship with you. Not so much when it’s anyone else. Their compliments may always seem physical, but that’s because it’s their love language. Noticing how soft your hair looks, or how plush your lips are… it’s like a Freudian slip. They’re basically asking to kiss or pet you, whatever they mention at the time is on their mind. Later in the relationship, they’ll end up just doing what they want to do before it comes out, but hugging, kissing, or always having a hand on your waist is second nature to them. It’s also a huge turn on to them, when you reciprocate. Even brushing your hair through their hair has them pulling you off for a quick make-out session. They are completely shameless about your ruffled clothes and tangled hair. The hickies too. Those are like Venture’s personal touches on the masterpiece that is your body.
Finally, their texts and calls. when they aren’t by your side, they crave you. they crave your company and attention. expect flowery, overly emoji-ed, gushy texts, from them whenever they get a chance. prefers video calls so they can see your face. they blow up your phone at lunchtime and fall asleep with you on call.
WOW THIS GOT LONG LOL SORRY I AM SO PASSIONATE ABT MY CHEESY LOML
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sugar-crash · 4 months ago
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🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑
(First Date Edition!)
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(Picture’s not mine)
(Request here! Picking out songs for this loser is so much easier than I thought it’d be, like I’d make my friends help me choose with previous posts I’ve done on my main, only for me to pluck these songs straight from my playlist.)
- Again this man is an avid date enjoyer, a complete contrast to how he was as Turbo, with him openly liking the concept of dates because he associates it with spending time with you, taking your attention up to fulfill his need for it.
- His intentions with you go from pure to not so pure (in a manipulative way you sickos) in a way akin to a pendulum, flicking back and forth while not going to their full extremes, at least not yet.
- Your first date is far from what it’d be Pre-RoadBlasters, having actual date stuff to it because he wants you to see him as a gentleman and a proper lover in general.
- His grip on everything at that point, where he knows who you are as a person to a great degree helps him mold that first date into something that benefits and his efforts to keep this relationship going.
- I’m thinking something small and yet classic, like a nice personal dinner in the castle spent after he claims his spot on the avatar roster for the umpteenth time, his golden coin pocketed for next time when he has to do it all over again.
- It’s the start of something rather grand, which he reiterates and emphasizes to his candy people as he makes them set things to your liking before you come.
- Everything has to be perfect for you, it’s much like the movie Coraline, the Beldam was able to make everything just look so picturesque at first in a way that was able to eventually ensnare Coraline into trusting her in the matter of a couple of days.
- However King Candy is more… Dare I say realistic in his approach? Like there’s no piano that plays you or a gravy train that pours it for you, but every request you may have is done almost immediately.
- Everything is done right by you— I mean, this is King Candy’s domain, and being his s/o gets you brownie points indefinitely.
- I think it’s a way to get you to keep coming, to spend your time in Sugar Rush than anywhere else, I mean— Why would you want to go anywhere else after hours when you are treated so well??
- That and the various areas of Sugar Rush are so numerous— So varied, so explorable, and he’s more than happy to drive you around the place whenever you want.
- Performative to a fault, which is something that comes from Pre-RoadBlasters— He needed to be for the sake of being the protagonist and main avatar of Turbo Time after all, everyone kinda has to be— But him especially.
- In a way, I think he was able to both perpetuate and diverge from who he was, those negative traits thriving underneath the guise of being a ruler who is highly defensive of his game and the citizens who reside in it.
- But in reality, he’s only really defensive over you— Much like the game he was able to alter and become a usurper for he worked hard to get this to where he wanted, and now that he had it and by extension you— He’s not exactly keen to let it all go.
- That first date when you look back at it later on encapsulates that desperation to be King Candy, to be something he wasn’t by any means while fooling everyone, fooling you.
- As King Candy, he’s more in tune with what he feels and knows how to react and when to react, giving off a more friendly aura that initially lures you in and makes you keep coming, especially if you are a particularly lonely person— Probably having no frame of reference to what a healthy relationship looks like beyond the niceties of previous relationships that didn’t stick as well as what you had with him.
- The more vulnerable you become with him the better he can worm his way into your heart and brain in an irreversible manner.
- That’s the thing with him, he wants to be significant so bad to any gamer or fellow game character that warrants it— Much like how Ralph is, but far more extreme, to the degree in which if it warrants it— He will kill someone to get what he wants, caution thrown to the wind if he’s been aggravated enough.
- That extreme behavior can even be seen in that first date you both have together, with him being strung up for brief moments when you bring something up that’s something he can’t easily explain away with smoke and mirrors.
- But those cracks aren’t established just yet, he’s able to get you wanting more and that’s enough to make him a bit giddy as he rejoices over this new and promising connection you have with him.
- It’s the start of something good, something bad, and something downright ugly.
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persephoneprice · 1 month ago
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gratitude for the new year
(inspired by @the-sun-and-the-sea)
over this past year, i have had so much fun on here with all of you. i appreciate everyone on here- the mutuals, the lurkers, the og trilogy fans that for some reason put up with the nonsense! all of you have made this year so much easier for someone who was struggling elsewhere in life <3
i hope we can all continue to be silly, fun, creative, and a little a lot unhinged into the next year. this fandom is such a lovely and supportive little corner. i’ve been inspired to do things i never thought i’d do- writing fanfiction, doing a fic exchange, unhinged cannibalism thoughts- the usual.
(under the cut for the gratitude things!)
- i want to start out by saying how much i appreciate anyone who sent me and ask over this past year! especially you my lovely anon friends! it’s been so much fun and in my…far too many years on tumblr i’ve never been able to interact with so many people! i cannot overstate how nice it is so have so many people will to engage about our silly little guys.
- i also want to say how much i appreciate the corso creatures discord as a whole! when we made it, i’m not going to lie, i really thought that would fizzle out quickly. so i’m so happy to see it thriving and everyone having fun on there together. thank you again, @coryo for helping make a place where can all truly be together and be ourselves!
now onto some people who have made this year so wonderful for me:
@the-sun-and-the-sea - i remember messaging you for the first time and honestly being so intimidated! you seemed like such a cool and popular blog + so many amazing fics and seemed wayyyy too cool to be talking to the weird tbosas girl. i couldn’t have been more wrong! you’re the sweetest, most genuine, and supportive person i’ve had the privilege of being friends with this year.
@felixravinstills - you have inspired me so much over the past year! before i started this blog i was so embarrassed by my interests and i felt so silly and stupid. then i met you, who was so talented and creative and insane about you little guy! and it made me feel more okay with being open about my little guys and to be a little weird about it! please forever stay the person you are <3
@fairyhagmother - my appalachian friend (in my head. you are one of us.) i was so, so excited when someone on here was so educated on appalachia and wanted to talk about it! i never would have thought at the time that in just a few months we could be talking about…coriolanus snow’s grandma’am and toxic yuri. i still think about that festus/pippa/liv ballet post you did btw. love u my friend.
@ylvisruinedmylife - hannah i couldn’t possibly fit how much i appreciate you into a post! i love bouncing off insane ideas with you and torturing hils together. i’m always amazed by how intelligent and creative and talented you are…and you’re still so friendly and supportive! your support, especially with my jessup nonsense, means the world. thank you for not killing you know who in you know what. i hope treemina never frees you.
@moreespressoformydepresso - fun fact: i also was lowkey intimidated by you for a while! imagine my surprise when you wanted to befriend me and dm and tell me about all of your fun aus! now, i couldn’t imagine my fandom experience without you. thank you for being so friendly and supportive and down to yap with me <3 you’ll never escape me 😤
@spiralling-thoughts - i love how you keep the tribute fandom alive and give so much life to all the minor tributes! you’re one of the first friends i had on here, and i really appreciate you sticking with my over this year! please always feel free to tell me all of your ideas, i love hearing them!
@majorsoapfan - AH you’re so sweet and talented! i love yapping with you in the dms and coming up with silly ideas! not to mention the absolute masterpieces of works you create!
@sparklebear11 - you fr are the maude ivory to my barb azure! you’re so silly and fun, please never change that about you. i hope the covey haunts you forever so you’ll stick around with us!
@keeperofsecretsunderthehill - i wish i had the creativity that you do! you’re always coming with such different, yet equally interesting, ideas! cranedove ceo always <3
@xtabithanala - not only did you create one of my favorite fics and help me love liv even more- you’re also so kind and supportive to me?? an angel! i hope we can talk more over this next year and get to know each other better!
i’m so looking forward to getting to know all of you guys better over this next year! @thatthingilovewith (can’t wait for more bobbin), @tumblingghosts (i miss yapping with you!, @meekmedea (always such a lovely presence but i’d love to talk to you more!), @little-de-vil (please keep yapping about the d2 lore in my dms forever), @ilovepersephoneprice (pippa friend!!!! we have so much more yapping to do!), @vampirehizzies (my mizzen sized mutual that i am so proud of!), @solar-halos (love u girlie let’s yap more), @mr-nauseam (you’re a great friend and your kindness and patience is amazing!), @ritalinrae (let’s yap more!), @threestargirls (i’m so looking forward to yapping with you in the new year!), @mollywog (we don’t often interact but i love when we do- i still think about that playground thing you said!), @jinglebellpeppre (how have we not yapped together about miz?), @julietasgf (talented artist queen) <3
if i forgot some please feel free to yell at me and i’ll tell you how much i appreciate you and why
(honorary mention to bel who i miss dearly)
have a lovely new year everyone <3
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ay0nha · 2 years ago
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Idle Hands | Chef Luca
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SUMMARY: Sometimes Luca wished he chose rivalry over admiration. But even if he had, you wouldn’t allow it. You would never go back to that world. It was far too demanding; you couldn’t thrive where you didn’t belong. 
PAIRING: Chef!Luca x f!reader
WORD COUNT: 1.4K
WARNINGS: mentions of eating/food, straight fluff, mutual pining, smidge of angst, Luca trying to poach reader for his restaurant, self indulgent, **I am not a chef nor a good cook** etc. 
A/N: I wrote this in one sitting on my phone, so mind the typos and lack of cohesion.  I didn’t think I would finish this, so also mind the rushed ending. Inspired some by things in Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential (he’s my idol). I’m interested in writing more, send some thoughts my way about Chef Luca. Enjoy.
The fog seemed idyllic. It was dense with humidity and carried the dawn light over the horizon better than the days prior; the rain was starting to get to you. It punctured your routine with puddles that were unavoidable and time that allowed your items to go stale because of a slow-trafficked day.
What had gone unnoticed during those days, and frankly underappreciated, was the space the weather provided. You had moved so quickly, your keys almost slipping from your hands as you bustled into the bakery, trying to keep dry. Yet, now your steps were paced by your exhaustion, only stopped by him.
Luca.
He knew better than to bring you coffee, the gesture acting more as an insult to your sleep schedule than a remedy to your dark circles. Instead, he was early, leaning against the brick wall of the bakery, waiting for you. Punctuality was just shy of being an aphrodisiac.
The cooking life was like a long love affair, with moments both sublime and ridiculous. Yet, like any love affair, looking back, you seemed to cling to the happy times the best—the things that drew you in in the first place, the things that kept you coming back for more.
Luca understood this well. Conscious or not, it hadn’t mattered; he indulged just the same. It was why he set on the stoop, day after day, only skipping out when the weather begged him to. Regardless he returned to you, waited for you, and deferred to you, even when his purpose was to poach you.
“I’m starting to lose count—” You refused a greeting. He blocked your journey to becoming a morning person. “—how many days does it take to be qualified as a stalker?”
Luca tutted teasingly, pushing through to find your humor. “Not quite eligible yet.”
“Shame.” You hummed, your key cracking open the rusted door. The click was becoming too screechy to ignore. The rain only proved further repercussions.
Noted. Fingers crossed, a handyman would be looking for something delectable on their break. Just as Luca came to expect your dry humor, you learned his body language just as well. Holding open the door you just unlocked, he held back the offer to repair it.
“Rumor has it you found your sous.” Your voice carried well through the echoing building. It was a small place, barely worth what you pay to keep it open.
Your fingers were stiff from the cold.  You cursed the winter and how it made you physically fumble for the months it endured. It was as though your body rejected how it influenced you. Yet, once your fingers found the light switches, you retracted your afflictions.
“He’s temporary.” Always a man of few words. Pointed and punctual.
“And he knows that?” You scoffed, scarf still muffling your words ever so slightly.
Your back was to him as your question lingered. Luca’s gaze admired your routine, the one he memorized as if each layer of clothing was a recipe in itself. You always saved your scarf for last as if it the way it twirled was an old-fashioned caramel drizzle on a forbidden apple.
“Everyone knows I want you.” He said deftly. Even with your back to him, you were sure he could picture your flattered, flustered features. “...He’s good. Young.”
“Mmm…” You mused, facing him. A part of you was convinced Luca would stop coming by once he’d found his counterpart. But his dissatisfaction still radiated off of him. “How long do you think he’ll last?”
“Depends.” Luca matched your tone. Young meant talent, but it also meant naive. “When do you plan to join me?”
Your laugh was let out as a breath—its presence small but worth it. “Luca—
“I’ll give it a rest.” His promise wouldn’t last very long, but it would do.
Luca reached for the apron that he had donned as his own. He reached the shelves you struggled with, learning within days through observation where to place that for when you finally mosied over. He was envious of your movements, how you found joy in moving slowly, so unrushed and unbothered to the point of pleasure.
It was strange the routine formed. It was just as unorthodox as the relationship. But within the culinary world, nothing was off-limits. There was a vague beginning to the friendship, another fitting mark. You were a friend of a friend that knew a guy. And you were the one that’s rumors claimed you were better than him.
Sometimes Luca wished he chose rivalry over admiration. But even if he had, you wouldn’t allow it. You would never go back to that world. It was far too demanding; you couldn’t thrive where you didn’t belong. You liked when your hands were layered with flour to lay out your dough. To stir a glaze in just the right way so that there was enough for an extra taste. It was you and the stillness without the adrenaline-filled demands.
The quiet of working side by side, the soft clinking of metal sheets and ceramics, was the perfect white noise. The simple patter of packed flour being muddled with oil was far better than the tourists that invaded your senses. You couldn’t decide if it was a welcomed distraction.
“What do you think?” He respected hierarchy. It was perfect. But you valued the imperfections of each unique item.
“Hmm?” You looked to your side. Luca was close; the small layout allowed for it.
“Try it.” He slid the plate to you.
Routines were hard to break. Every morning you skipped breakfast, it wasn’t until your stomach rumbled would you realize you were hungry. Luca learned you loved things sickly sweet, just shy of making your mouth pucker.
You worked alone often; you hadn’t needed the company nor the help. However, the pair of hands that steadied themselves on your hips to pass by made you question your need. It made you question if the warmth that spread through your body was from him or from the oven pre-heating near your knees. It would have been easy to doubt it all if there hadn’t been a ghost print of flour on your black apron.
“Go on…” Luca returned, pushing a found spoon into your hands. “Give me your worst.”
You rolled your eyes. He knew it was good. You knew it was good. The first spoonful was annoyingly satisfying. You maintained your breath through the second bite. If you went for a third, you knew Luca’s ego would soar.
The extra hands were helpful, but you refused to let the aid blind his purpose. So, you deflected, pointing the spoon to him.“I’m sure it’ll sell.”
Luca’s lips played with a frown. You were good at reminding him that his so-called sweetness could cross over into becoming a chore. His thick skin was scarred, burned, and continually tested.  You had the skill to crawl under it and almost get to him.
Accepting the utensil, he tasted his own creation. “It’s missing something.”
“Yeah?” You weren’t shy about plucking your finger into the cream filling for another taste. “What are you thinking?”
There it was, his earlier promise broken. With just a look, you knew what he was thinking; you. It was a tacky way to beg again for you to work with him; it was why he only gave you a look. One that was brief and gone before you could say anything before returning steely.
“Increase the fat content.” You advised, breaking your gaze. It was a test, and you were well aware you passed. It was textbook. Again, you’d proven your mind was in tune with his. “Cut it with acidity.”
He nodded, inked arms crossed against his chest. Luca lacked  the asinine chef bravado. A welcome reprieve. Self-assured, steady, and strong. Your eyebrows pinched when he stumbled slightly, drawing in a breath to say something just to let the words die. It was out of character, a side to him you didn’t believe existed. He seemed nervous.
“It’ll be ready in a few weeks.” His words seemed to settle finally.
“Ah…” You wiped your hands on your chest, reaching for the next thing. The beauty in baking was constantly moving. Even when your patience was being tested while things rose, there was always another something to work on. “...I forgot how much modernist cuisine attracts attention.”
New items meant new clients. New reviews and new criticism. You continued to assure him, chatting softly of what snobs people could be when they were filled with only ignorance. You meant to ease his apprehension, but you realized it had nothing to do with hosting an event.
It had to do with the invitation that flew from his lips. “Think you’re free that night?”
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messrmoonyy · 10 months ago
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- you sunshine, you temptress
Tess Servopoulos x Female reader
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Request- already in like Jackson, and so Ellie and Joel live together but Tess doesn’t. They’re new in town so they’re still not used to the whole nice civilized thing, but the reader is her nice neighbor who wears her down. She plants stuff and even like cooks for tess. But she’s not a wimp either, very skilled with guns and stuff. Just a fic where they meet and like reader takes care of Tess. Smut too if you want
A/N- I took this request and ran with it. It took me a long ass time I apologise but I do really like how this turned out. It became far more angsty than I’m sure you wanted it to be but. Here we are. I wanted to explore an idea that Tess didn’t like Jackson and took time to adjust, didn’t really like reader as well. Tess leaning to adjust and love and be loved. Also in transferring this over none of my italics saved and I could’nt be fucked to go back through this again and add them back lmao
Warnings- 18+ | tess is quite low for the majority of this, canon compliant discussions of death and violence, vague/ implied smut (wc- 13.2k )
Tess masterlist | AO3 - Tess requests are open but not currently top priority
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SPRING
Tess didn’t like Jackson. Not at first. The drastic change from Boston to the nomadic lifestyle she had been living with Ellie and Joel as they crossed the country had been difficult enough. But to then transfer to something so wildly different from both of those things? Yeah. It took some getting used to.
She didn’t quite know what she had been expecting really. Maybe something like Boston but without the soldiers. Small pockets of people doing their own things to get by, together for safety but nothing much else. Not the working, thriving town she had walked into. Not the cleanliness, the stores, the diner, the hot water- that apparently was only a little temperamental in the colder months compared to year round like Boston- and clean clothes. Jobs. Families. Farming. She felt like she was in an alternate dimension.
She didn’t like the way everyone was so… cheerful. Which was a weird thing to say, but it was true. Because it threw her off.
She had developed her own bubble of happiness with Joel and Ellie over the months. They laughed together at Ellie’s shitty jokes, shared in her joy when she found a can of ravioli she liked. But would be stoney faced in an instant to protect each other. Joel and Ellie she loved like family, they were her family. She was used to warm smiles from them, a desire to be near her and talk to her. She wasn’t used to it from others.
Other people were scared of her. They moved out of her way and they did as she asked. They kept their heads down in case they upset her and they didn’t cross her path. But not in Jackson. No.
They smiled at her in the street, asked her how she was, said good morning.
And it spooked her. She didn’t like it. And she hated that she didn’t. That she had become so hardened that genuine kindness scared her. Because no one was kind anymore. No one showed care unless they wanted something else in return.
So she didn’t know how to take it. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the new found trust people had in her, their ease at having her around. To her surprise Joel didn’t seem to be struggling as much. He had Tommy back after all and that seemed to be easing his discomfort. Ellie was fitting in… kinda. Her colourful vocabulary and brashness had put some of the kids off at first. But they seemed to be warming to her now.
So it was just her. Trapped in some odd isolated headspace where she didn’t quite know what to do. She didn’t mention it to Joel, didn’t want to interfere with him and Tommy as they rebuilt their relationship again. Maria had tried to pull Tess into things more, and Tess liked her. Maria didn’t take shit, she had power and was in charge. People respected her. And she didn’t let Tess mope around for too long either.
But even Maria couldn’t quite pull her out of that disconnected state completely.
Part of her felt she was being ungrateful. She was alive and as safe as anyone could possibly hope to be in the current climate. Joel was alive. Ellie was alive. She was alive. But there was just… something.
Maybe a sick part of her missed it. Missed Boston. But then again maybe it wasn’t so sick. She hadn’t liked Boston really. But spending so long in one place would always make it hard to leave behind. Even the things she had so often complained about. She found she couldn’t even sleep on her new bed, Jackson having been looked after for so long that the mattress was actually still soft. She was too used to the lumpy one in the zone, and sleeping on the ground for months.
She’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d arrived. If she even managed to sleep at all, unable to fall asleep on the soft sheets and bed.
She missed her power too. Got tetchy when she thought about who was running operations back in the zone now. Who was living in her and Joel’s apartment, had they found their stash? Who was selling her shit and walking around like she had? She had to remind herself she shouldn’t care. That wasn’t her life anymore. It never would be again. Boston was a distant memory she needed to put to rest.
But it was difficult.
The new house felt too big. The town too clean. The people too nice. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with herself. She mildly regretted living separately from Joel. Just out of… familiarity. She wasn’t used to such an open space to herself. Even before the outbreak the house she had shared with her husband and son hadn’t been so big. And she had had two other bodies to fill the space.
In Boston that tiny apartment she had had Joel to fill the gaps.
But she knew she couldn’t impose on him any longer. Joel was handsome and mellowing. He would no doubt find someone in town… and she couldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that. Especially seeing as she herself had no desire to go there. Their relationship had always been purely platonic and she had no intention of changing that.
So when Maria had asked, she had taken her own place. Ellie had taken the garage. They all had their own space. But those two seemed far better at living in it than she was.
It had taken that stark shift though for her to realise that maybe she simply wasn’t made for being alone. She had met her husband in college. They had moved in together immediately after, and had their son young. Then she’d fallen into the group heading for Boston, met Joel… she’d never really been alone.
Though she also wasn’t particularly doing anything to change that either. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Back in Boston she’d get lonely from time to time, would go out and pick someone up with ease. Now? She didn’t know where that confidence had gone.
She felt people looking at her when she ventured out. She knew she wasn’t exactly unattractive, she knew people liked to look. But she had no desire to pursue. She didn’t even entertain them for a second. And they all grew bored of trying and moved on.
Everyone was friendly enough, but some kept their distance when they realised she wasn’t the… happiest of people. But one person didn’t let the permanent frown glued to Tess’ face deter them.
You.
You lived across the street from her, would wave hello every morning when Tess ventured out to find out what tasks Maria had to keep her busy for the day. You’d smile. You’d say hello. You even left her things on the porch.
And you liked flowers.
She gathered that pretty quickly. The window boxes were full, potted bushes and blooms littered your porch and edge of the dirt path street. It made her own place look incredibly dull. But maybe that was fitting.
She’d never been one for flowers. So expensive for them to just sit and wilt away in a vase, to be left with nothing but some crisped petals and dead stems within a week. So amongst the sandwiches and pies left at her door, the odd flowering embellishments she knew came from you.
A lot of people in town left stuff for her and Joel, to welcome them. To give them things they needed. She didn’t like accepting any of it. She didn’t like the feeling of… owing people. Feeling like they would have a hold over her, that they had given her a new jacket so now she owed them something. That you had left her a pie so now you were owed something too.
So she left the majority of it exactly where it was placed on the porch, Maria being the one to bring them inside for her.
“ You are gonna attract every damn animal in town if you keep leaving this stuff on your porch Tess “ Maria used as a greeting when Tess opened the door one morning, seeing the woman standing there with what seemed to be a loaf in her hands “ and wasting food? Really? Especially this? Now this looks delicious. Still warm too “ Tess scoffed but before she could speak she heard your voice.
“ Good morning Maria! Good morning Tess! “ she looked over Maria’s shoulder to see you jogging down your porch steps and waving, thankfully turning to walk into town rather than try and start a conversation
“ morning hun “ Maria responded with a smile, glancing over to Tess when she ignored you as she always did.
“ what? “ Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in the way she so often did when she was at her wits end. Usually with Ellie and Joel’s bickering.
“ I’ve told you a million times. We all get along here. It’s a small town Tess, you can’t have grudges. Or.. at least public ones. I have a few secret ones myself “ Tess sighed and stepped back to let Maria inside, who only sighed too when she eyed the blanket on the couch “ you’re still sleeping on the couch? “
Tess brushed her off and grabbed her boots from by the door, sitting down to pull them on. She could already sense another of Maria’s lectures brewing, and the headache pulsing behind her temples made her hope she’d hold off on it.
“ I just fell asleep there I was… reading “ Maria did not seem even remotely convinced and walked through to place the bread down in the kitchen.
“ And what’s with the silent treatment with the doll across the street? “
“ she’s too… happy “ Maria laughed and shook her head
“ She's harmless. She’s kind “
“ she’s fuckin annoying “ Maria’s eyebrows flew up and she gave a small laugh again
“ Theresa “ it sounded almost scolding. Tess scoffed at that “ you sound like Ellie “ Tess scoffed again. Fucking Ellie?
“ calling me a kid now Maria? “
“ yeah. Cause you’re acting like one “ she sighed and stood with her hands on her hips, the way that told anyone nearby that she meant business. To shut the fuck up and listen to her “ you’re here now. And you need to stop isolating yourself “ she walked over to her and placed a hand to her arm, a gentle comforting squeeze “ I know it’s hard. I do. But you have to try “
She knew she did. She was just stubborn and stuck in her ways. And you really were… peppy. One of those people that seemed constantly in a good mood, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and trying to spread your joy.
Tess’ own glasses had smashed a long long time ago. And she saw no reason for the amount of joy you seemed to hold.
“ I’m trying “
“ Try harder then “ Maria said before folding her arms and tilting her head a little as she watched her “ what’s going on with you? “ Tess stood up again and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she knew. Wishing she had the words to explain.
But how could she? How could she tell Maria that she wanted to go home? She wanted Boston back. That she felt out of place in Jackson and had never felt as lonely as she did in her entire life.
“ I’m fine. I’m just tired. Shall we go? “ Maria didn’t seem convinced but nodded, following her outside.
It was a nice day. Spring was in full swing now, in the weeks between Salt Lake City and settling into town the chill of winter had finally disappeared. She could see daffodils sprouting in the window boxes of your house. Her own were barron.
“ I’ve put you on farming rotation today. Sounds good? “ she nodded “ okay. It’s easy enough. Pot things, label things, pull things. It’s quite therapeutic “ she’d be the judge of that one.
She followed Maria around to the greenhouses, watching how people greeted her and smiled when they saw her. She didn’t know whether she was jealous or annoyed.
“ okay. Greenhouse 4, shouldn’t take more than a couple hours. When you’ve finished in there come find me if you want to help out some more. Okay? "She followed where Maria was pointing and stopped when she spotted someone already inside greenhouse 4.
“ are you fuckin kidding me Maria“
You.
Maria smiled and squeezed her shoulders, leaning close to her ear
“ Be nice “ Tess scoffed and turned to try and beg her to assign her anywhere else but there, but Maria was already walking off.
“ Maria- “
“ be. Nice! “
“ fuck “ she gave a frustrated huff and headed into the greenhouse, you turned around at the sound with that usual beaming smile on your face. She didn’t have the energy for this today. Didn’t have the energy for you.
“ Oh hi. I didn’t know I was paired with you today “ she stood not really knowing what she was supposed to do, annoyance practically steaming out of her ears “ you wanna get that side and I’ll continue with this side? Seeds are in that bag there, compost and soil is there, tools in the crate under the table. Okay? “
She gave a small nod and headed for the crate of tools, pulling out a small trowel and grabbing a pot. But she found her hands refusing to move. Simply staring down at the equipment in her hands. It felt like a weight was pushing down on her shoulders, crushing her chest, turning all of her muscles to lead.
“ I thought Maria would’ve had you trained up for patrols by now “ you said lightly, the sound of your trowel filling another pot “ from what I’ve heard your pretty handy with a gun “
What had you heard?
“ yeah “ she said, almost having to force herself to reply “ soon… they don’t like new people straight on patrol “ her hands still wouldn’t move.
“ figures. You could always ask her to put you on my regular route at first if you like. It’s one of the busier ones, you seem a little stressed. And well blowing the head off a clicker might be beneficial “ you laughed as you said it but quite frankly she felt you were right.
She didn’t like being unarmed. Adults in town were allowed to own their own weapons but weren’t to bring them out of their house unless they were heading on patrol. Her back pocket felt too empty without her gun there. Her fingers itched to hold it, if only for the familiarity of the metal on her fingers.
“ or why don’t you see if she’ll assign you on the hunting crew? Shooting rabbits isn’t exactly as fun as putting down clickers but. You know it’s something “ you seemed fully convinced that the answer to Tess’ supposed stress was killing something one way or another.
What had you heard about her? Who had been talking?
“ right “ she still hadn’t potted a single seed, some unmoving crushing sense of dread still heavy on her shoulders.
She didn’t know why the weight of her problems was weighing her down so heavily in the last few days. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just adjust to Jackson. Why was she feeling more anxious and depressed in the safest possible place she could be, than when she had been living under the looming threat of being murdered everyday?
No normal person's mind worked that way. No normal decent person craved the life she had once had. The familiarity back at least. She felt sick.
You were humming a song to yourself now. It felt irrationally loud in her ears. She could hear Maria’s voice in her head too. Telling her to try. To try be nice. Try to mingle.
“ thank you. For the bread “ she said in an attempt at conversation. She’d known it was you that had left it. Had seen the sprig of some kind of flower tucked into the cloth it was wrapped in. Obviously you “ but I don’t need charity “
“ it’s not charity “ you said, the sound of your tools stilling “ it’s a gift. I don’t know… welcome to town gesture that’s all “
“ Whatever it was. I don’t need it “ maybe this wasn’t exactly nice. But it needed to be said “ you can take it back if you want. I haven’t touched it “
“ alright “ she didn’t have to look at you to know your face would be reminiscent of a kicked puppy “ keep the lavender though. It’s calming… it’ll help you sleep” she turned around to look at you then. How did you know she wasn’t sleeping?
“ how- “
“ I came from a QZ myself, I spent years after that roaming. I know it takes time to adjust Tess. I barely slept a wink when I first got here… paranoid an infected was gonna jump me in my sleep or FEDRA was gonna come arrest me cause they suspected me of rebel activity… silly I know but. Our brains are hardwired into survival mode and it takes some time to shake it off “
It sounded genuinely sincere. Caring. She barely knew you and yet you seemed as though you actually wanted to help her. It made her skin prickle.
“ yeah. Well. I’m not you “ she turned back around as if to resume her previous activity. Though she had still not potted a single seed.
“ That's very clear “ even annoyed you sounded remotely cheerful still. Like no malice truly laced your words.
What was she doing here? The world was a hell hole, it was full of shitty people all doing shitty things. And there she was planting fucking carrots. In some odd altercation with you about her behaviour.
“ Tess? Everything okay? "Your hand falling on her shoulder shocked her into reality. She stepped away from your touch, moving so quickly it was as if you’d burnt her, heading for the door. She felt like she was suffocating she needed to get out “ Tess? “
“ I- I have to go “ you hurried out after her and she took a deep breath of the fresh air trying to calm herself. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t skittish and scared. She didn’t get anxious and erratic. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.
“ Can I do anything? I can get Maria or-“
“ look. I know you mean well. But I don’t need… any of this. I don’t need you thinking you’re helping all of the time “ her words were harsh and as much as you annoyed her, it was like looking at a kicked puppy “ just. Stop “
She turned away from you and headed straight for home. Home. Home that felt nothing like the word.
She felt ungrateful. People were sleeping out in the woods or in derelict buildings basically waiting to be attacked by infected. And she had a house. Warmth. Safety. But she couldn’t shake the feelings and she hated it.
She closed the town out behind her, closing the door and leaning against it to catch her breath. Why was this all so difficult for her? Why was she so incapable of adjusting to some kind of regular society again?
She debated talking to Joel. If anyone in town understood her it was him. Joel knew her inside out, could talk to her with just a look, knew what she was going to do before she did it. But he was settling in fine. He wasn’t struggling like she was. She didn’t want to weigh him down with that when he finally seemed so light.
She hid away for the rest of the day, almost expecting Maria to come and drag her back out again. But she didn’t to her relief. She had her peace and quiet to mope. To wallow in her own stupid sadness and isolation.
Until the evening.
She sighed when there was a knock on the door, probably Ellie ready to go charging around the room rambling off every piece of information about her day with an amused Joel in tow. Though she actually wouldn’t mind that.
But it wasn’t Ellie. Or Joel.
“ hey “
“ I thought- “
“ I know. Look. I just wanted to come and tell you I was sorry if I offended you or something. You just… you seemed like you needed a friend and I wanted to help “ she could tell you genuinely meant it. That you truly were one of those people that was just… nice. Good. Even after the past two decades that had twisted and warped so many others, herself included, you had somehow remained what she assumed was the same.
“ well I don’t… need any help “ you gave a small nod but didn’t immediately leave, shuffling a little awkwardly on the spot “ anything else? “
“ I noticed. I noticed you don’t have anything in the window boxes. I have some spare seeds… flowers can really help brighten the place up. I find that on sad days it’s always a little bit nicer to look at a flower than an empty box “ she opened her mouth to decline, to tell you she didn’t want you in her way. But you seemed to anticipate it “ you won’t even have to see me. Or talk to me. I can do it when you’re not home or if you are I can… I can just knock so you know I’m there. So you can wait for me to leave or- it’s just an idea “
She figured that in the long run giving you something to do that you might take as being helpful, might actually make you leave her alone a little more. And so, ever so slightly reluctantly, she sighed and nodded.
“ fine “ the smile on your face after that almost made her want to smile too. Almost. So kind. So genuine. So… bright.
“ yeah? Okay. Do you have any preferences? Or allergies? Colours maybe- “ she lifted a hand in a silent request for you to shut up.
Be nice.
She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a steady sigh, forcing some attempt at a smile onto her face.
“ anything. Anything is fine “ you gave a nod and turned slightly before pausing. You seemed to debate something for a moment before delving into your pocket and pulling out a small jar of something that looked like jam.
“ I know… I know you said you didn’t want- it goes real nice with the bread “ she waited a second before taking it from your hands. You said nothing else, just gave her a small nod of a goodbye and headed down the steps and across the street.
That evening she ate bread with the jam. It was annoyingly good.
———————————
You’d appeared the next morning to plant the seeds. And then you tended to them everyday. Watering them and doing god knows what to the soil. You would let her know you were there each time, a small knock on the door that you didn’t even mind if she didn’t answer. Just letting her know you were out there. Just as you’d said.
And as time passed she found herself answering it from time to time. Just poking her head around the door to see what you were doing, always there with your small watering can and a smile.
And that was okay. You were okay. Nothing else in her life felt right at that moment. But having a new constant did. And she had to admit that even when she woke up on the couch, rubbing at her sore neck, seeing the sprouts through the window almost made her crack a smile. Almost.
SUMMER
As the cold completely shifted from Jackson’s air she found that not even the warmth could truly raise her mood completely. Everyone in town seemed far more cheery, like the sun had some odd healing ability to make everyone more joyful after the bitter winter and the final week of spring which had been nothing but solid rain fall.
Though Tess, begrudgingly enough, found that her own joys still only stemmed from her family. But also from you. As much as she refused to admit it, she’d found herself looking forward to your small knocks on her door each morning, or on mornings where she left early for patrol she found herself almost hoping you’d be on the porch with your watering can and your smile.
Which she didn’t exactly understand or care to understand either. In fact she blatantly ignored the voices in her head warning that she was going soft. That she was beginning to almost look at you as some kind of friend.
She opened the door more often than not now, even made attempts to ask you about the flowers or ask about your day. You never probed her about herself which she liked. You didn’t pry. You let her be. You let her keep her walls fiercely guarded without so much as a complaint. And she kind of hated the fact that made her like you a little more.
And that morning was no different to the rest now, you had knocked and she had gone out to say hello. Had offered you tea and you had accepted as you so often did.
Her night had been filled with bad dreams. And she had feared that it would send her into another one of those days. Where she wanted to do nothing but hide and mope. But she had forced herself to go outside. At least to say hello.
Annoyingly to her, Maria had been right. And she lived there now. And that meant she had to try. She had to try adjust. Fit in. Be… nice.
She still felt wary around you. Maybe even more so because of how she was beginning to sort of like you. Or maybe tolerate was the better word. She told herself it was anyway. But she had been in Jackson a few months at this point. And after a few months your joy and happiness was bound to wear her down. Even if she was reluctant about it.
“ you know if you take good enough care of these they’ll bloom next spring too “ you said as she hovered by the door watching you “ it takes time and care though. Pretty things but strong enough to survive the winter if they’re tended too correctly “ your eyes flitted up to her for a moment as you said it and she felt the statement were a little more loaded than just being about the flowers.
“ I’ll leave that up to you “ you smiled warmly and looked back down at the plants.
“ here’s hoping “
Tess watched you carefully, still unsure exactly how to pinpoint what she was feeling. She was beginning to like having you around. But also your joy drove her insane. You were annoying. So unbelievably annoying with your bright smile and desire to care.
And yet… you had managed to be the one to coax her out of the house. Yes it was only to her porch but it was still out. You had given her something to almost look forward to each day.
She didn’t like it.
“ oh shit “ she blinked a couple of times to drag herself out of her head to see blood in her peripheral, dripping between your fingers and between the floorboards of the porch.
“ what did you- “
“ fucking sheers they slipped I. Look, it's fine it’s just a cut… You got a bandage or something? “ Tess nodded and glanced towards her door. She realised how bad it would seem to keep you out on the porch. To just leave you there whilst she went looking. But also the thought of you in her home…
“ yeah. Do you wanna… come in? Wanna wash it or something “ part of her almost wished you’d say no, but the relief on your face made her regret the thought instantly
“ thanks Tess “ she headed straight for the kitchen. Not even looking to see if you were behind her, rummaging around in a cupboard for her box of medical supplies.
“ wash it. The sink “ she murmured, watching you carefully from the corner of her eye as you headed for the sink beside her, cupping your hand in some attempt to not drip blood onto the tiles. She looked at your bloody hands, ignoring the guilt rising in her chest at the fact you had injured yourself doing something for her, and reached out for you. She held your cut hand in her palm, leading it carefully under the water. She could feel you watching her, eyes almost burning into her skin as she gently washed away the blood and the soil.
She focussed on the pink swirls twisting down the drain rather than looking at you.
She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how you put her on edge. She didn’t want to go delving into why exactly that was either. Why in the space of 6 months she had gone from despising your very existence, to having you in her home because you’d hurt yourself tending to her flowers. It was a lot to try and process all in one go.
“ Marias always laughing at me “ you said as she turned off the water “ says I’m one of the best snipers in town yet I’m clumsy as shit with anything else. Can shoot a clicker miles off but can’t handle a pair of gardening shears? Idiot “
Maria had told her all about your impressive skills out on patrols. She was yet to see them for herself though, Maria hadn’t paired you together yet. Thankfully. Though she couldn’t lie that curiosity on the matter was strong. She’d always had some morbid fascination with the nicest of people that were able to kill like it was second nature.
A silent chaos raging behind a gentle smile.
“ guns more important than sheers “
“ well that depends on the situation don’t you think? Gun won’t help clip the weeds “
She bandaged your hand silently with the care and tenderness that few saw from her, wrapping it up and admiring her work for a second.
She stood back when she was done not exactly knowing what to say anymore. And she hated it. Despised it. Tess always knew what to say. She was always one step ahead of everyone in the room, but she faltered when it came to you. And she didn’t know why. Or what power you seemed to hold over her as of late. Was it your kindness? Was it the simple fact that you had never shown her nothing but care and respect since day one and she just didn’t know how to accept it? Maybe.
She wandered if you noticed how she looked out of place in her own home. Surrounded by so many things that she had no connection to. Objects that weren’t hers, placed into a house that had once been lived in by others. Loved by others.
Like so many others she had gotten used to not getting attached to materialistic things. She could see you glancing around, how you could probably see that from the way the place looked so… bare. Unloved by her. Un- lived in by her. That you probably figured it out pretty quickly.
You were watching her intently as you wandered the kitchen and she didn’t like it, she didn’t like the way you made her feel like a prey animal ready to dart any moment. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t prey. She wasn’t the hunted. She was the hunter. She was the one with the upper hand.
But not with you. Not with you and your unyielding kindness and desire to know her.
So she turned around and started packing away the medical box slowly and carefully. Just to give her hands something to do.
“ why are you so afraid of me? “ you asked suddenly and she turned around with a confused look on her face. Afraid of you? Why would she possibly be afraid of someone like you.
“ what are you talking about? “
“ you’re afraid. You won’t let me in. You barely even let me be your friend. You keep trying to scare me away with being so… miserable. You have to let people in Tess… and I think it’s because you’re scared yourself I- “
“ I’m not afraid of you “ She said immediately. Her heckles raised at the intrusion. And at the confusion for your sudden lack of ability to not interfere “ are you afraid of me? “ she asked, her voice calm. And low and steady. Intimidating. The way she spoke to people in Boston who were pissing her off and she needed to remind them who she was. Her eyes had not left you for even a second. They were burning into you. Calculated. Smart. Intense.
Some desperate attempt and desire to keep you out. To make you back off. Even if it meant missing those morning knocks and tea on the porch. She couldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t.
But you weren’t afraid of her. You never had been. She could tell. You were stubborn. So unbearably kind but stubborn. Stubborn in the way you had kept up your daily visits even when she wouldn’t answer her door, in the way you still waved at her before she even spoke to you. So stubborn in the way you were standing your ground before her.
“ no. I know I should be. I know what you did. But I’m not “ she folded her arms across her chest, quirking a brow. Who had you been talking to? What could you possibly know. So you hadn’t been refraining from asking her questions all along, you’d been getting your information else where. She was almost impressed. It was smart. Calculated even.
At this point she wouldn’t be surprised if you’d cut yourself on purpose to get inside and make her talk.
“ oh? Oh you know what I did? “
“ someone in town… was gossiping I- everyone’s done bad things “ you said with a shrug.
“ what do you know? “ she advanced on you then. Slowly. Crossing the room to where you stood by the wall. You didn’t move. You held your ground.
“ a lot “
“ tell me “ she wanted to hear you say it. To confirm if what you knew was true. But also because maybe some sick part of her needed reminding what she had once been capable of. Of what she had been before she had become that misery of a human whose only joys came from her pseudo kid and the woman who planted flowers for her.
“ all the people you killed. Tortured “ your voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she stood in front of you. But you still didn’t look scared. And she couldn’t decide how that made her feel. Annoyed? Because she clearly didn’t hold the fear inducing powers she once had. Or… relieved? That she had finally come across someone that took what she had done and dusted it under the rug. Accepted it and moved on.
“ and it doesn’t scare you? “
“ you must’ve had your reasons “ there was a heavy tension hanging in the air, she could feel it thickly between you. Soon enough one of you would choke “ I know what you did. I don’t care. You can’t scare me away Tess “ at this point she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.
No one had challenged her like that. No one like you anyway. No one so… sweet.
Her old self would’ve laughed. Would’ve laughed in your face and thrown you out. But then again. Her old self would’ve laughed at what she had become too.
Things had changed. And she needed to accept it.
“ stop trying to scare me off “ to her surprise you reached up, your hand gentle on her face. She recoiled at first. As if your fingers were steeped in acid and you’d blistered her skin with your touch. But you waited a moment and did it again. And she froze, unsure of what you were doing or how she was supposed to react to it “ I want to be your friend. Let me. You don’t have to scare every single person that wants to care for you away. If anything you damn well need it “
She didn’t know what to say. Stood there like she was made of stone with your gentle hand on her cheek, your face full of nothing but warmth and affection for her. She felt like a deer in headlights.
“ you don’t know what I need “ she finally spoke, taking a single step back so that your hand fell away. Though she was certain she could still feel it. A kind touch was so unfamiliar to her, so rare that it lingered in her skin “ you know nothing about me “
“ I know enough “ so stubborn. So unwilling to take no for an answer or let yourself be pushed away. She kind of liked it. Liked the challenge “ you have to let people in. Let me in. I know how you feel- “
“ how could you possibly know how I feel “ she almost spat “ you’ve lived here. Comfortable and safe “ you gave a small laugh at that
“ not always “ she didn’t know why she had assumed you had been there so long, maybe because you were so… settled. Adapted “ spent two years captured by a bunch of slavers before I even set foot in Jackson. I’m not some sheltered little girl born into comfort Tess “ she took a step back, eyes narrowing as she tried to asses the new information presented to her.
She knew about slavers. Had been taken by them herself at one point. But two years? She had been there two days, in a tiny camp as they prepared to move her to their main base before she’d managed to get away. Those two days had been hell. She couldn’t imagine two years.
Maybe she had underestimated you after all.
But before she could answer you properly there was another knock to her door.
“ only me! “ Maria’s voice sounded as she entered the house, opening her mouth to say something else but stopping when she saw you stood there. She looked violently overjoyed “ oh! I’m sorry. Didn’t know you had company “ it must have been an odd sight to walk into. Tess as stoney faced as ever and you practically gazing at her.
“ sorry I- “
“ did you need something? “ Tess asked
“ lunch, the whole family. Good haul from the hunting crew today “ family. Her family. As dysfunctional as it was she very much wanted to escape the current situation and see them “ but if you’re busy- “
“ no. I’m not. She was just leaving “ she glanced over at you as you gave a small nod and a smile, quietly excusing yourself and heading for the door.
“ just. Think about what I said Tess? I’ll see you tomorrow “
She didn’t hear the end of that for the entirety of lunch. Maria not usually one to pry. But knowing very much that Ellie and Tommy would. Casually mentioning it and… that was that.
Ellie seemed particularly delighted. Looking at her in a way that she recognised from her own childhood when she realised liking girls wasn’t just a her thing. That she wasn’t the only one. But Tess didn’t probe. Though she was happy in the knowledge Ellie would come to her if she needed.
“ y’know I think it’s real nice “ Joel said to her when she stepped outside stating she needed a little air “ she’s softenin you “ Tess scoffed and folded her arms across her chest
“ you have no idea what you’re talking about. She’s a neighbour. And she looks after the flowers. She’s a pain in my ass”
“ baby steps Tess “ she glanced over at him and he was giving her that look that said he knew something was going on inside her head “ you leave the house more now “
“ to my porch and back “ she mumbled not entirely wanting to get into that conversation. She was not in the mood to discuss her long hours trapped inside her house. And her head.
“ baby. Steps “ she sighed and ran a hand over her face. She was tired.
“ she wants to be my friend “ it sounded so unbelievably juvenile to say out loud. She almost regretted saying it
“ and… you don’t want that? “
“ no “ she said maybe a little too quickly
“ right “ she could feel him watching her, trying to read her as he so often did. The way only two people who had been together for so long could do “ I don’t think I believe that “
“ I’m not asking you to “ he sighed again, used to her stubbornness. Her bad moods.
“ you are allowed to have friends Tess. And… more than that. I don’t know what that girls intentions are, I don’t pretend to know how your mind works either. But if you really didn’t like her then why are you still lettin her around? Tess I know would’ve told her to fuck off and threatened her for good measure for even tryna talk to you if you didn’t like her “
“ you’re talking shit “ he laughed and shrugged
“ you’re proving my point. Tess. Just do something. If you want her? Go get her. Tess I know would. And if not? Tell her to leave you be. Cause this mood you’re in… it’s not nice to see “
“ ‘ the Tess you know’ “ she muttered under breath. She didn’t feel like that Tess anymore.
By the time she walked home she couldn’t tell if she was more annoyed by the entire situation or relieved by it because somehow Joel of all people had begun to put things into perspective for her.
Maybe it was both.
Though the annoyance was slightly winning out. She wasn’t soft. She didn’t like the implications that you were softening her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than you. She hadn’t pushed you away because Maria said she needed to be nice. That’s why.
It was.
Wasn’t it?
She felt a sudden desperate need to prove to herself that what she was thinking was correct. And not Joel.
She was not soft. She was in control.
She didn’t quite know what it was that compelled her feet to head up your porch steps rather than her own. Knocking on the door before she’d even fully come to a halt.
Waiting impatiently for you to answer, looking a little surprised to see her when you did appear.
She pushed past the threshold, watching you take a step back in mild confusion at her sudden intrusion, cupping your face in both her hands and kissing you. You stumbled for barely half a second, kissing her back with a muffled moan and your fingers wrapping around her wrists.
The confidence she was used to felt far more present in your space, in the four walls of your home rather than her own.
She pressed you up against the closest wall, kissing you like her life depended on it. Far more in control than she was a few hours earlier. Than she had been in a while.
And this was it. This was the familiarity she had craved wasn’t it? This was the power she had been missing, the ability to take what she wanted when she wanted it. Even when she wasn’t entirely sure it was what she wanted.
So why didn’t it feel the same. Why did it not even slightly fill the void in her chest.
You were breathing heavily as she pulled away to catch her own breath, a joyful almost dopey smile on your face. You looked so incredibly beautiful. Sweet.
She’d break you. She would. She knew she would. It was a vicious awful cycle. Anyone she got close to got hurt. Friend or… more. It would all end the same way.
“ this won’t end well “ she said quietly, not entirely meaning to say it out loud. The words escaping her as she watched you, someone so beautiful and kind didn’t belong with someone like her.
Someone who had not let the awful things that happened to them twist them into something unrecognisable. In the way that Tess had.
It would be a mess.
“ maybe not “ you answered, voice just as quiet “ but did you ever stop to think that maybe it will be okay? “
“ no “ you laughed softly, head leaning back against the wall and your eyes falling closed for a moment. She wished she could have such a carefree look. She didn’t think her face even knew how to relax into such an expression.
“ have a little faith “
AUTUMN
It had been over 20 years since her life had completely fallen apart. And a lot could happen in 20 years. A lot had happened. Tess was good at having bad shit happen and then burying it so deep down that she didn’t have to think about it. She was good at having a blank face when inside she was screaming. But in the end, one person could only hide so much stuff for so long. Eventually it would spill. And every now and again it did.
And when it did? It was suffocating.
It struck her out of no where. She never saw it coming.
Sometimes it almost scared her. Scared her that the stuff she had done wasn’t even the worst of what kept her up at night. She had no remorse for the people she had killed. Tortured. Those bodies and those sounds. They didn’t haunt her. The stuff that had come before that had damaged her beyond repair.
The first few years had been the worst. Before FEDRA had full control, before any rules were in full effect. When everyone ran rampant, when people looted and murdered because they felt like it. When groups formed and did whatever they wanted. To who they wanted. When Tess had been alone. Had left her home with nothing but the clothes on her back and ran. And ran. And by some miracle survived.
That time before Joel. Before the entirety of the group making their way up to Boston.
Tess didn’t get scared. She wasn’t afraid of things. But she had been back then. She had been so afraid.
So utterly powerless and out of control.
She tried to see the positives as ridiculous as it sounded. Tried to twist the shitty things that had happened. The shitty things that she had done. She had done them to survive. And maybe that scared her even more. That she felt justified in her actions.
That she could think back to certain people she had tortured. Killed. Ambushed. And justify it. Not feel as though she had done the wrong thing at all.
And that she would do it all again if she needed to.
She would throw herself in front of trucks feigning an injury. Just a poor, defenceless woman. Beg for help only for Joel and the others to spring from the bushes and take everything they had. She’d kill every man and woman that got in the way of her rise in the smuggling ring. She’d tortured ever last piece of information out of those fuckers who had taken Ellie. Murdered every. Last. Firefly. In that hospital.
All again. A million times over.
But her humanity was still in her somewhere. Buried deep down but there. And when it reared its head it was ugly. Filled with words to make her feel like the worst person alive. Fill her ears with the strangled cries of her son. The sickening sound of the blood that pooled in her husband’s throat.
It made her feel numb. Like she was floating. No longer in her body and desperately trying to claw her way back down to it.
“ Tess? “ she was too lost to react. Too deep inside her own head to even turn around and look at you. But she knew that voice. The voice that had become as familiar as Maria’s. Ellie’s. Joels “ Tess what are you doing it’s freezing out here “ your voice was soft compared to the voices that were screeching inside her head, soothing. Gentle. Quieter yet somehow speaking over the screaming ones.
Your hands fell onto her arm and she flinched, shifting away from your touch.
“ hey. Sorry “ you said softly, hands raised in some kind of surrender “ won’t touch you again “ the voices were still shouting at her, but a little further off now. Like she was on one side of the room and they were on the other. And wasn’t that interesting. Where in the past only Joel had been able to coax her back to reality. Ground her. Now you had. And she had known you far less “ can I sit? “ she gave a small nod and you sat down, leaving a small gap between you both.
Things between the two of you had been a little different as of late.
You hadn’t kissed since that day she’d barged through your front door and re established that she was very much the one holding the reins. But she was letting herself be lighter. Trying her hardest to open up to you. To go into town more. Smile back at people. And it was hard. And slow going. But she was getting there.
Baby steps. Like Joel had said.
“ I’m gonna go get a blanket okay? It’s so cold “ she listened as you went inside, returning a few moments later.
“ why are you here? “ she asked as you sat down beside her again, wrapping the blanket around you both.
“ I was out on late patrol. I saw the light on… was gonna come see why you were still up. Have a chat or something… you didn’t answer so I just poked my head inside and I saw the back door was open“
She gave a small nod and continued staring out at the backyard. She hadn’t really done much to it. But there was a rope swinging attached to the large tree at the bottom now. Ellie loved it.
“ do you need to talk? About anything? “ you asked quietly “ it’s what friends are for you know. Talking “
“ I’ve never been very good at friends “ you gave a small laugh and nodded
“ yeah. I figured that one out myself “ you shuffled a little closer to her, nudging her leg with yours “ you must’ve had friends at some point “
The ones that truly stuck in her mind were Bill and Frank. Frank would’ve loved you she realised very quickly. You were so alike. So happy. Made to see the positive in absolutely every single thing. Yet becoming friends with Frank had been far easier than becoming friends with you.
She’d been different back then.
“ I had. I had friends “ she started, realising in that moment that she had never actually spoken about Bill and Frank since they’d died. Her and Joel had done as they always had and refused to talk about it. Let it settle and weigh heavy until it began to dissipate on its own “ they lived a few miles out of Boston. Met them over the radio “
“ they weren’t in a zone? “
“ no. Bill… fuckin crazy been planning for doomsday his whole life. Had the whole town mapped out and wired up “ she actually cracked a small smile thinking about it “ Frank though. I think. I think he’s the closest thing to a friend I really had “
She missed him. She missed them both. And missing Bill was something she never thought she’d feel, even if he was more open to her company than Joel’s.
You listened diligently as she spoke about Lincoln. Dinners in the garden and Bills stash of supplies, the awkwardness that always lingered between Bill and Joel. The bi monthly drop offs that had started increasing in distance as Frank got sicker and Bill got older. And then finding them with Ellie. The silent moment she had taken in the garden to cry for her lost friends whilst Ellie showered and Joel fixed the car.
“ they sound like amazing people “ she shrugged and glanced over at you for a moment. And maybe it was silly of her to take so long to realise it. But maybe she had a friend in you, maybe more than that. Maybe she had done all along and had been too blinded by her own self loathing and moping around to truly notice it.
It was the early hours of the morning and there you were, sat on her porch steps in the dark. Listening to her talk. Comforting her. And she realised that you were exactly what she needed. In that moment and every other moment to follow. Your compassion and your calming force of a personality. The way you cared…. Loved even. Your stubbornness. Your loyalty.
“ thank you “ she said quietly “ for being here “ you looked up at her and smiled. That warm, sweet smile that made even the coldest of days feel mild. Tess was all sharp edges and bitter words, someone so soft should be keeping a safe distance to ensure they didn’t get cut. But you weren’t afraid. You never had been “ for everything “ she didn’t want to elaborate and you didnt make her.
She reached forward to cup your face in her hand, thumb tracing over your cheekbone. You understood her in a way it had taken Joel 20 years to. Some odd force of nature that wiggled your way through the cracks in her heavily guarded walls.
Her eyes drifted down to your lips. Remembering the hard, forceful kiss you had shared that one time before. The kind she was used to. The kind she was good at. She wasn’t very good at being tender and caring. Kissing and all that lead from it had long since been something she did out of care and love. It was a means to an end. A release. A way to remind herself she was human.
But it didn’t have to be that way anymore.
“ you gonna kiss me or not? “ you whispered. And it made her lips twitch into a smile.
Tess had kissed a lot of people in her time. And if she was perfectly honest she wasn’t entirely a fan. Kisses were not like how the movies or books portrayed them most of the time. Uncoordinated or clumsy, too much teeth or tongue. She didn’t care much for kissing.
But kissing you was different. Kissing you was like a shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. It was the closest she felt she could come to understanding why Joel had been so hooked on pills before Ellie. It was addictive.
But something had changed now. Some locked gate inside of her had finally clicked open and you had seized the opportunity to slip your way inside. And she surprised herself with the realisation that it actually didn’t seem all that terrifying now, having you there. Having those feelings and thoughts.
Of course there was still… something. But it was less so.
Holding your face in her hand, your willingness to let her lead and melt into her. With every soft and gentle movement of her lips against yours she felt herself slipping. Like when the winter storms would hit Boston and her worn down boots couldn’t find grip on the icy paths.
But this slip wouldn’t end with her falling flat on her ass and nursing a bruised leg. You were keeping her tethered. Your fingers that were looped around her wrist, your hair that was tickling her face.
It made her feel startlingly real. Alive. Present. Present in a moment in a way she hadn’t done all day, she’d spent the day drifting. Some far off place in her head where her demons scrambled over her and suffocated the air out of her lungs. But she was breathing fine now, breathing in air that was yours, breathing as if you were her air.
She kissed you until her jaw started to ache, not sure how long it had been or how many quick seconds apart to catch her breath there had been. But when she finally did let you go the fog that had been blinding her all day seemed to have disappeared. Everything felt as though she were looking through glasses that had just had the lenses cleaned.
Sharper. Clearer.
“ it’s really fuckin cold “ she murmured, causing a giggle to bubble past your lips.
“ yeah. It’s freezing “ you didn’t seem even mildly pissed that that had been her first words after practically kissing your face off. Instead you both silently seemed to agree to go inside, collapsing onto her couch and kissing some more.
Something had shifted after that. Had changed after she’d woken up the following morning on the couch with you.
She actively chose to be around you, even more so than she had been. Spent enough time with you that people began to murmur about it. But she found she no longer cared.
There was still an odd weight looming in her chest, one she was certain may never actually go away. But it was far lighter than it had been.
WINTER
Tess had always preferred winter to summer. Especially after Boston. She hated those sticky summer days. Especially in that apartment that was freezing in winter but a sauna in the summer, no comfortable in between. Days when she felt like the heat was suffocating her and every drop of water she drank sweated its way out of her within the minute.
Winter felt so much… fresher. She liked the snow and the opportunities to wrap up and be warm on her own terms.
Some people found it bleak. But she rather enjoyed it.
You seemed to like it too. Because you could use the cold weather as an excuse to be close to her. And it felt nice. To have you there, to have you wanting to be near her. Even if she was beginning to believe you were forgetting your gloves on purpose now so she would hold your hand.
The arrival of the winter months had brought along the silent confirmation that you two were… something now. Dating didn’t feel right. That word didn’t feel like it belonged in the world anymore. And there had been no real discussions of the matter, mostly due to her own refusal to mention it. And ‘girlfriend’… it felt a little juvenile. Even if was Ellie teasing her every fucking day that you were in fact her girlfriend now.
Jackson was starting to feel more like somewhere she could begin to call home. Riding back through the gates with Joel, watching them close behind her but not feeling that feeling of imprisonment anymore. Not feeling as trapped as the walls in Boston, but finally feeling safe.
She walked into the Bison, happy to find it slightly less crowded than it could be. She walked over to the bar, smiling at the guy stood drying off a glass
“ hey… she here? “ something in her still prickled with an odd sense of anxiety that she didn’t need to ask for you by name now. That they all knew who she meant. That Tess would not venture into the bison alone for anyone else, and that you would never be leaving with anyone else but her.
But she pushed it aside.
“ yeah she’s out the back. I’ll grab her “ she waited patiently as he disappeared through the door, glancing around with some still deep rooted fear that someone was watching her. She didn’t think she’d ever shake that. But she had to remind herself that no one there was after her. No one there was watching her to find her weakness and abuse it.
“ hey you “ you appeared through the door a few moments later and you greeted with that beaming smile of yours, looking at her as if she were the singular source of joy in your life. You leant over the bar and she met you half way, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. It was the kind of kiss that was… familiar. The kind two people in love shared without thought, something as simple and regular as breathing.
“ having fun? “
“ oh yeah. Making sandwiches, riveting stuff “ she watched you wipe your hands off on a towel before slipping your way out from behind the bar “ but I’d really like to go home now “ Tess nodded and offered you her arm without needing to be asked, your hands slipping into their usual place and huddling close against her.
It was getting chillier out, the sky had taken on that odd yellowy state that signalled impending snow. The kind of day that back in Boston would’ve been some forewarning of an impending low ration season. But there was no such thing in Jackson.
You spoke about your shift in the bison as you walked and Tess listened diligently, all the while silently musing over you asking to go home. And very much heading with Tess towards hers.
But. You stayed over more often than not now. Your things were starting to intermingle with her own, the space that had previously felt so barren and so disconnected from herself… now felt almost like a home.
There were some of Ellie’s drawings tacked to the fridge, her talent alone making the space seem a little more lived in. A few pictures had been framed now too and dotted about the place. Tess, Joel and Ellie over for dinner at Tommy and Maria’s. Another of Ellie pulling a stupid face with Joel looking slightly amused at her side. One of you and her, you beaming at the camera as she looked at you. Maria had taken that one much to Tess’ original dismay. But she was quite thankful for it now.
That was the first piece of you that had made its way into her home.
You had a toothbrush in her bathroom now. A spare jacket on the hooks by the door. A small box of gardening tools by the front door. A hand knitted blanket across the back of her couch.
You were in the air even. The air wafted of the flowers you adored wherever you went, you filled the place she had only ever referred to as a house into home.
And sometimes it almost made her want to laugh. Laugh at herself for what she had become. Tess didn’t take things slow like this. Tess didn’t let her space be invaded by someone else. Tess didn’t have feelings or let herself… love.
Which was exactly what she was feeling more and more these days. Which was completely and utterly terrifying but she found she was just letting it happen. Because she could. And because she was allowed to.
She wasn’t old Tess anymore. If anything she was beginning to feel as though she was slowly becoming more and more like the version of herself that had existed before an apocalypse had destroyed the world. The kind of woman that did date and did take things slow. That had girlfriends or boyfriends and wasn’t scared. Was care free and happy.
And maybe that was more scary than the fear she had felt at losing the version of herself that had developed over 20 years of hell.
She was beginning to think that nothing would ever be without fear these days. But she was working on it. And it was lessening.
And you becoming a permanent fixture in her house was part of that.
Quite often the nights ended exactly as they currently were too. With you walking home together, cuddling up together on the couch to escape the chill of winter.
And making out until she forgot how to breathe.
It had not been more than that. She hadn’t allowed herself to let it be. Had happily let you sit in her lap or let you pull her down over you and sink into the couch cushions. But she never let it progress.
She didn’t truly think about why and you had never asked it of her either. Until tonight.
“ why are you holding back? “ you whispered, pulling back from her slightly. Still close enough that she could feel your breath against her lips.
Why was she holding back?
Because you weren’t some random girl she picked up in the zone because she was bored and lonely. Because until you, sex had become something with little feeling. Something to do because she needed some human contact that wasn’t Joel stitching up a stab wound.
And it was funny, really, when she thought about why she was holding back. Why as much as she may have wanted to, as much as the old her would’ve gone and gotten what she wanted months ago… she hadn’t.
Because it hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t been the time. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than a quick, meaningless fuck off somewhere secluded because she wanted to feel like a human being again. No, you deserved more.
Maybe you still did. She couldn’t figure it out yet.
But what she did know, was if now was not the time then she would wait. She would wait a million and one lifetimes. As much as she knew the short serotonin boost would breathe some life into her for a few hours again… she would endure. Because when she really thought about it, that wasn’t what she wanted really.
She wanted you. Of course she did. Needed you. In every single sense of the phrase. You had been a shiny little light in her darkness, you had prevailed and endured her bitterness to discover something sweet hiding beneath.
And so you deserved the best. Deserved every ounce of love and compassion Tess could find deep within herself.
“ where’d you go? Hm? “ you whispered softly, fingers trailing along the side of her face and tucking an unruly strand of her greying hair behind her ear “ you seem… else where “
“ just thinkin “ your touch was gentle, fingertips somehow still smooth and soft. So different to hers, calloused from years of fighting and doing shitty jobs in the QZ. She felt too rough for you. Too sharp around the edges. Like her hold on you alone could shatter you.
She knew in reality you weren’t delicate. She had watched you shoot like a trained marksmen. Had seen you jump on clickers and stab them until you face was splattered in blood. Chop firewood for town like it was nothing. You were strong. Capable. And yet she felt like she could bruise you like a peach just by looking at you wrong. She was no stranger to your strengths, your capabilities. Yet to her? She felt she could always see you as breakable.
Fine China. Soft fruit. The petals of the flowers you cared so much about.
Soft and pure and delicate. Not made to be touched by the rough and ready hands of the likes of her
And yet…
“ thinking about me? “ you said it with a small laugh, half joking. Half hoping. She gave you a small smile, a small nod.
“ of course “ it came out so quiet she wasn’t even sure she’d really said it right away. But your warm smile told her she had. And you’d heard. And even now, even in that moment, she still took a moment to be amazed at that smile. Amazed that it was because of her. You were smiling because she was thinking of you. You were on her mind. And you liked that.
Her hands twitched slightly at their place on your waist. Almost involuntarily. Like they were trying to make her move, go ahead. Do… something.
You looked down for a second before letting go of your gentle hold of her face, sliding your hands along her arms and trailing your fingers over her wrists.
“ I’m not going to break “ you picked up her hands, moving them down to brush over your ass, your thighs “ you can touch me “ she was afraid she’d do something stupid like blush. So she kissed you again, gently tugging you close by her soft hold on your thighs.
Your hands slid back up her arms, over her shoulders, up to hold the back of her neck, your fingertips slipping under the collar of her shirt. Everything about you was soft. Precise and purposeful. She could practically feel the desire radiating out of your fingers. But also the care.
She hadnt been touched like that in… a while. Touched in a way that conveyed love. A way that was gentle. Caring. Deliberate and slow. Like you wanted to take your time, in a way akin to how you had behaved since you had met her. You wanted to know her. To understand her. To peel back the layers she kept pulling on to keep you out.
And maybe a part of her would always want to keep you out, deep down. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a vulnerability she was still learning to adjust to.
But she was adjusting. Had been. And it felt right now. Felt right having the soft weight of you on her thighs, having your gentle fingers rid her of her sweater. Felt the shame of her equally as raging desire dissipate.
It was okay. She was okay.
She watched your deft fingers carefully unbutton your plaid shirt, one that now she thought about it looked remarkably like one of hers. When had you taken that she wondered.
She let her hands slip over the bare skin of your waist, disappearing under the soft worn cotton of your- her? - shirt. There was a scar along your ribs, the kind that had been there a while. No longer angry and red but faded and soft. She ran her thumb across it.
“ chains “ you said, answering her unasked question.
“ the slavers? “ she murmured, still tracing her thumb over the long stretch of scarred skin. You hummed a reply, your eyes watching her intently
“ plenty of permanent reminders of those fuckers on me “ it still baffled her how you had endured such cruelty and appeared on the other side as gentle as you were. She wanted to track those fuckers down. Torture every single last one that had even looked at you wrong. And reserve a special place in hell for the ones who had left their permanent marks.
She leant forward, dipping her head and pressing her lips to the scar. Your chest deflated in a soft sigh as she did, ghosting her lips over the skin in some feeble attempt to replace the pain with care. Your fingers laced into her hair, silently urging her to kiss you some more. And she did. She kissed up your chest, breath stuttering embarrassingly as her cheek brushed against the cotton covered swell of your chest as she pressed kisses to your sternum.
Everything about you was soft.
She inhaled deeply, your skin smelt of that familiar scent of being outdoors. As if winter air had been bottled and sprayed across your skin like perfume. Something so usually mundane and common place, yet intoxicating on you.
She kissed up your neck, skin in flames with every single soft sigh it caused you to let out.
“ can… can I.. “ you said in between kisses, hands now fumbling with the button of her jeans.
“ not here “ she murmured, pulling away from your lips slightly reluctantly “ you deserve better than the fuckin couch “ that made you smile, head titling to the side inquisitively.
“ well aren’t you just a lady “ Tess scoffed, patting your leg gently to urge you to stand up
“ lady? You must be thinkin of someone else “ you seemed reluctant to stop kissing her, grabbing her multiple times on the way out of the lounge. Including a long pause on the stairs where she almost regretted suggesting you move. And seriously debated just letting the entire thing play out right there on the staircase.
She’d never really been one for kissing. But with you she couldn’t stop. She was obsessed. A woman possessed. And she was taking her time.
But she remained on track. Leading you into her bedroom and the bed she had barely slept in.
She sat down on the edge, watching you as you closed the door before turning to her. Leaning back against it for a moment.
You were truly something. Stood there in your jeans and your bra. Your mismatched socks and your ruffled hair. Lips kiss swollen and eyes watching her intently.
“ c’mere “ she said quietly, gesturing you over with a tilt of her head. You wandered over, coming to a stop in front of her and reaching out to cup her face gently “ you’re so fuckin beautiful you know “ she said, not entirely intending to say it out loud and rather just think it. But the blush that crept across your cheeks made her glad she had said it.
“ you think? “ she hummed a reply, her fingers trailing up and down the backs of your thighs.
She didn’t know what it was about having you there in that room. Her room. Alone. It felt so incredibly intimate. In fact the entire night had. She’d never taken such… time. Time to explore and to appreciate, to admire. And now to have you in bedroom, a room she had barely been able to step foot in alone since arriving in town. But felt almost at ease with you there.
It was a lot to attempt to process all at once. And so she decided not to. That it wasn’t the time to send herself spiralling into yet another pit of despair and dread, she focussed all her attention back to you.
“ you’re sweet “
“ I’m not sweet I’m honest “ you smiled again at that. In reality she was not an honest person. She was deceitful and not to be trusted by anyone but Joel. But you trusted her. And she was honest with you.
She was. You truly were beautiful. And she felt a fool that it had taken her as long as it had to stop and really look at you. Had spent so long despising your presence rather than admiring you from day one.
She slipped her hands further up your legs, cupping the denim clad flesh of your ass and pushing you forward slightly. You took the hint, stepping over her legs and placing yourself back in her lap. Your arms looped loosely around her neck.
She couldn’t resist diving forward, lips against your neck and teeth grazing your soft skin in a way that made the most delicious sounds leave your lips.
“ oh, Tess “ your fingers tugged lightly at her hair as she continued her gentle assault, hands wandering and desperate to touch as much of you as she could. “ I can’t take much more of this teasing “ you whispered after a few moments, tugging at her hair to make her raise her head.
Her fingers ghosted over the blooming marks on your skin. Blossoming spots of red and purple, marks of a gentle cruelty that had sent the most beautiful look of bliss to overcome your face. Yet another mark of possession on your skin, but not of chains and binds this time…. Of hatred. But of teeth. Of lips. Of desire.
Possession through the deep rooted need to keep you as her own, but simply to hold. To protect. To love.
“ Tess “ she wouldn’t make you wait any longer. She wanted to keep touching, to commit every single inch of you to memory. But she figured that she’d have plenty of opportunities to do so.
And she would give you anything you asked of her. So she would not make you wait.
Through a desire blurred haze she manoeuvred you to lay down, a blur of clothing making its way to the floor and soft moans as her hands ventured downwards.
“ no no keep looking at me “ she said, her voice as quiet as it had been since you’d lead her up those stairs, coaxing your head up from where you were hiding with her free hand “ that’s it I wanna see you “ you slipped a hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down to press your forehead against hers with a small nod, lips parted slightly as she moved her fingers in soft circles.
She lost track of time. Of all straight forward thinking. The seconds and the minutes all blurring into a moonlit haze of body parts in her mind. She took her time, breaking you down and unwinding every single knot under your skin.
Nothing else existed outside the four walls of that room, just you and her. The soft lewd sounds of her fingers between your legs, your quiet whimpers and gasps into her mouth, the rustle of the sheets beneath you as you arched and writhed beneath her.
There was something incredible about having you there, foreheads pressed together as she hovered over you, something so… romantic. How your hands held onto her, fingertips warm like they were branding her skin. Isolated in that room in a newer way than she had been used to.
And when she finally brought you to your long awaited climax, she watched you intently. Admiring the beautiful way your face moved and contorted in pleasure, watching your lips part and your legs tremble.
You returned the favour once you’d regained your regular breathing pattern. Pushing her onto her back and leading a trail of soft kisses down her chest and her stomach, settling between her legs and sending her eyes falling into the back of her head.
Her back arching off the mattress and her hand twisting into your hair, relishing in a bliss she hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time.
And then you lay there together. A comfortable silence enveloping the room, only disturbed by the occasional kiss or soft sigh.
Tess’ fingers played gently with your hair, inevitably lulling you into sleep. And she took the time to think.
She realised that in the time she had lived there it was her first night actually sleeping in her bed. She glanced down at where you were sound asleep on her chest, the weight and warmth of you pressed against her keeping away any anxious thoughts that wanted to creep into her mind.
And she didn’t want to escape downstairs, didn’t want to run. To push you away and tell you to leave. That sleeping together was far more intimate to her than any form of sex act could be.
The thoughts didn’t come.
It had taken her meeting you to finally come to terms with what her life was now. And the things that she had done. That in the current climate there were really no good or bad people. Just human beings trying to survive. Do whatever it took to live to see another day. Doing unspeakable things to get by and trying to convince themselves afterwards that they had done the right thing. That they had had no choice.
And that was okay. She was coming to peace with that. She would never fully forget, but neither would anyone else. But that was okay. Because as long as she had you by her side, she was quite content in the knowledge that she could handle it.
That then come spring those flowers you had planted would bloom again and she would let her fears die with the frost.
Everything would be okay.
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sweetlike-h0ney17 · 6 months ago
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An open letter to @tiredandlonelymuse
Dear Ash,
Let me first begin by saying I love you and I’m sorry. Like many of your fans, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how devastated I am to learn of the intense feelings of loneliness, betrayal, and heartbreak that you’ve shared with us. It wouldn’t be right for me to claim I know exactly how you feel, because I can only imagine the pressure you’ve been under, especially these past two years as you’ve had to navigate your career and life-altering health battles. But one thing I can say without a doubt in my mind is that even if it might not feel this way now, there are millions of people who are cheering you on, praying for you, sending you wishes of good health and happiness, and wanting to see you thrive. Life has thrown you the most grueling and incredibly unfair obstacles, yet you still remain a beacon of hope for so many of us.
If you decide that his era is truly the end because it’s something you don’t love anymore, don’t have the energy for, etc. I understand. I can only imagine the physical and emotional toll that fame takes on a person. And I will hold close with me forever the memories of all the good times, the interactions that show how much you truly care about your fans, and the life lessons you’ve taught me. I have cautiously reminded myself for years now that what you have built won’t last forever, but the thought of it being cut short because of other people’s cruelty, unkindness, and lack of empathy absolutely guts me. The people who truly care about you always will — it’s not conditional. I know the weeds feel like they are all-consuming, but they are few and far between fields of flowers that extend for miles and miles.
It would be unfair of me to ask you to keep going for the sake of your fans — like you have pointed out, you are a real person with real feelings, not a character in a music video. Instead I’m here to reach out a hand and remind you that you are not alone in this. We have gone through many battles together, and this may be the toughest one yet, but your support system is here to catch you when you fall. Uplift you on the good days and the bad days. Cherish your art and remind you why you so graciously continue to share it with us. I could go on and on about the ways in which you have instilled strength in me over the years, as I’m sure millions more could too. All the letters we’ve written, the concerts we’ve attended — all because we know that you are made of some kind of stardust, and your presence in this world has meaning; the lives you have touched are forever changed for the better.
If you read this, let it be a reminder of how loved you are. I speak for myself and countless others when I tell you that I’m here to stay and have no plans on going anywhere. Because the bond you have curated in this community is unbreakable. As we approach this new era, I hope you don’t ever, ever forget how proud I am of you.
With all the love and gratitude in the world,
Lelia 💜
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pikaflute · 5 months ago
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hey everyone!!!! guess who's birthday is today! superball's!!!!! yay!!!!! i wrote a little thing for him centered around his birthday and unlike sam's birthday it isn't sad. he's happy. he's thriving. he's joyful.
also this has flintball in it. you will enjoy my niche gay ship or ELSE. anyway happy birthday superball!!!!
It honestly slips Superball’s mind that it’s his birthday. He’s had a lot on his plate recently with work; not to mention having to get his kids ready for the school year. So once he finally gets a moment to himself one Friday morning and looks over at the calendar he sees it's his birthday.
Hm.
Superball doesn't really have anything planned honestly. He stopped being excited for his birthday some time ago and usually the highlight of his birthday meant getting a cute gift from his son's or splurging extra during his dinner on a small treat.
As he's deciding between a slice of cake or a brownie: his phone rings. He picks it up and sees it's Max. Probably calling about his birthday no doubt. Despite the monotony of his life: his best friends really knew how to make it interesting.For better or for worse. Usually for the worse.
As Superball answers, he goes to say hello, but it's cut off by Max screaming on the other end.
“Superball! It's an emergency!”
Superball can vaguely hear someone in the background (possibly Sam) and something moving around.
“Uh-”
“Don't uh me! Get down here quickly,” Max pauses and then adds, “Love you bye!”
The line disconnects before Superball can even process what just happened. He sighs. Well his job never really truly ends it seems. Even on his birthday.
-- this is a line break :P --
He's expecting the worst when he gets to Sam and Max's place. Granted: he always is. He doesn't know why the two naturally attract chaos and misfortune wherever they go, but at this point he's too far deep and he's not going to question it. The lights in their office are off so he can't see where the two are at the moment. Usually, he'd knock and wait; but Max did say it was urgent, so he forgoes the pleasantries and opens the door and enters the room.
“Sirs, I got here as quickly-”
Suddenly, the lights turn on and he hears a loud popping noise. Confetti fills his vision as it falls on top of him as Sam and Max stand in front of him: wearing party hats while holding party poppers.
“Happy birthday!”
Superball looks around the room. Among the…. questionable design of Sam and Max's office: there's party decorations. Balloons fill the corners of the rooms and streamers are haphazardly thrown on top of the fan in the center of the room. On their couch are a couple of multicolored boxes that Superball guesses are probably gifts for him. Finally, there's a rainbow banner hanging above their closet that reads ‘Happy Birthday!’.
“Ah. So this was the emergency.”
“Well, I couldn't tell you it was for your birthday, it would ruin the surprise!”
“Plus, I already had to stop him from setting the decorations on fire three times. So, we really needed you down here before the fire department came knocking.”
Superball smiles. He knew out of anyone Sam and Max would remember his birthday but he didn't expect them to do this for him. It was rather touching.
“I’m surprised you did this for my birthday, sirs.”
“Of course we did! You’re our best friend!”
“Plus, Max always wants the excuse to blow something up.”
Max rolls his eyes, “I don’t need an excuse. It just looks better on paper if I set something on fire for someone else.”
Sam smiles and pats Max on the head. He then reaches into his coat and pulls out a party hat (the same one he and Max are wearing) and puts it on Superball.
“Now you’re all festive.”
“Thank you sir. I feel festive.”
Sam smiles and pats him on the shoulder, “Also hope you don't mind holding the fort down for a few minutes. We gotta pick up your cake.”
“Ah you don't need to-”
“Don't get it twisted Superball,” Sam points at himself and Max, “It's mainly for us.”
“Also we tried to bake you a cake but Sam ate it.”
“I didn't. He decided to eat all the raw eggs and the cake batter before I could even think about getting a cake pan out.”
Max elbows Sam's shin, “Why am I the bad guy here? You ate that cake batter!”
“I don't know what you're talking about. I would never lie to Superball. Unlike you.”
Max bites Sam in the leg. Sam kicks him off and into the corner. Superball shifts around awkwardly and lets out a cough to get Sam's attention.
“Uh. So. That cake.”
“Oh,” Sam looks like he suddenly just remembered the original point of the conversation, “Yeah! We'll be back soon!”
Sam goes over and picks Max up by one of his ankles and Max lets out a ‘wee!’ as Sam swings him around as they leave the office. As Superball goes to brush the confetti of himself, he's stopped by someone's hand on his shoulder. He tenses up and tries to throw the assailant off of him, but he stops as he turns around to see Flint. Why can no one he's friends with (or in this case: dating) greet him like a normal person? As Superball relaxes under Flint touch, Flint lets out a sigh.
“Jeez, you always act like I'm going to hurt you or something.”
“I've seen the way you deal with clients.”
Flint rolls his eyes, “That's a gross mischaracterization, Supes. I'm way more complex than you give me credit for.”
“Sure.”
Flint opens his mouth to say something back but he looks around the room and notices all the decorations.
“Who's birthday is it?”
“Mine.”
There's a moment of silence between the two before Flint lets go of Superball. He then punches Superball in the shoulder. Ow. Superball frowns.
“See this is why I'm tense around-”
Flint cuts him off, “You didn’t tell me it was your birthday!”
Superball shrugs, “It slipped my mind. I didn’t even realize it was September already.”
“You know how shitty of a boyfriend I look if I don’t get you something?”
“I don’t want anything. I’m perfectly fine with what I have right now.”
Truth be told, he's still happy from the surprise he just got from Sam and Max. But even beyond that: he has a good life. He has some great friends who like him, he’s finally able to see his kids and spend some time with them again, his job hasn't been too stressful as of late, and despite Flint's eccentric demeanor: he's not that bad of a boyfriend. 
For the first time in a long time: Superball is happy. He couldn't ask for anything more than that. 
Flint, however, remains unconvinced. He just gives Superball a smile.
“Yeah that's just what people say. I'll get you something. Give me twenty minutes, tops.
“Really Flint it's fin-”
Flint cuts him off again, “Too late! Made up my mind! See you soon!”
And with that, Flint's out the door as quickly as he entered and Superball is left alone again. He sighs as he sits down on the couch. They're lucky he's used to waiting by a door doing nothing all day; otherwise he'd be pissed.
-- why the fuck does tumblr not let me do line breaks anymore --
“We're back!”
It takes about twenty minutes for Sam and Max to return with the cake. As Sam puts the cake on his desk, Max sits on the couch next to Superball and goes rooting around in the gift pile. Once Sam is done, he goes over to the couch, pushes Max aside to get a present, and then sits next to Superball.
“Do you know that he's banned from the five closest bakeries?”
Max finally grabs a gift from the pile and points it at Sam accusingly, “Oh Sam. We're banned from the five closest bakeries. Be proud of it.”
Sam leans over and flicks Max on the head, “I'm banned because of you moron.”
Max shrugs and then turns his attention towards Superball. He smiles with all of his teeth which would be deeply unsettling if Superball didn't know the little guy.
“Hi.”
“Hello sir.”
“Do you want your presents?”
“I'm assuming that's why we're on this couch sir,” Superball points at the remaining presents, “I'm assuming those are also for me.”
“Yeah but they're not from us. I think we're too poor for that.”
“They're from the rest of the gang,” Sam smiles, “They would've shown up but you know Sybil's got her kid and all and Momma Bosco has some seminar in Jersey. Plus I don't think our office is zoned for guys that had a dark dimension entity in their chest.”
Max grabs Superball’s arm, “And since they didn't show up, we get dibs on giving you our gifts first. Sucks to be them!”
A few years back, Superball would rarely get any gifts on his birthday. He may have gotten a small gift from his wife or something from work; but other than that? Nothing. 
Seeing that people went out of their way to remember him and get him something meant the world to him. Even if they weren't here the fact they still wanted to show their appreciation for him was making his heart melt. He doesn't like crying but he can feel the tears begin to form. He wipes his eyes and then looks at both Sam and Max before saying:
“Thank you sirs.”
“Okay enough waiting,” Max lets go of Superball’s arm and puts the gift in his hands, “Open my gift first!”
Superball looks down at the gift. It's a small box: poorly wrapped in a bright green wrapping paper. Superball rips open the paper and then opens the box. Inside are three wood carvings. One is of a dog, the other of a rabbit, and the final one is a horse. Superball takes them out of the box and looks closely at them. They're quite adorable.
“You made these?”
Max nods, “I'm getting good at wood carving. I'm like if Picasso never cut his ear off.”
Max always was the more creative of the two. Whenever Superball collected documents from the guy there would be small doodles of guys (usually senators Max didn't like) getting maimed by Sam and Max. It would be cute if it wasn't so gruesome. 
“I think that's Van Gogh.”
“Whatever,” Max points at the horse, “That's you by the way. I made all of us so you can have me and Sam wherever you go!”
Superball smiles, “That's quite touching. Thank you Max.”
“See that Sam? I'm quite touching.”
“You're quite annoying is more like it,”  Sam hands his gift to Superball, “Here Superball, open mine next.”
Superball places Max's wood carvings back in the box and places it on the ground. He then grabs Sam's gift, which isn't wrapped like Max's but is instead a long rectangular black box. Superball opens the box to a tie.
“Ah.”
It's a red tie like the one he's wearing now but instead of stripes it's got cute simplified versions of Sam and Max's faces on it. Superball looks over at Sam who's smiling.
“Cool right? I thought it would be fun to get you a new tie since you're always wearing that thing.”
“Don't you always wear the same tie?”
“Yeah but,” Sam looks embarrassed, “I also want you to have me and Max wherever you go, you know?”
As much as Sam teases Max all the time: the guy's a huge sap. He's always gushing about how much he loves Max or how much Max is his reason for living. The guy may have a short fuse but under all that was a guy who got sad at rom coms and cared deeply about the people around him.
Superball undoes his tie and places it on his lap. He then takes the new tie and puts it on: making sure it's tight enough and fits in his jacket. After he's done adjusting the tie he looks at Sam.
“Thank you for the gif-”
He's cut off by Sam and Max hugging him tightly. Ah. Well. He's not really a hugging person, but if it's with two of his favorite people on Earth? Well, he's not gonna say no to that. A few moments pass before Superball can feel his stomach growl. Hm. Maybe they should eat that cake soon. Once Sam and Max pull away, Superball gestures towards the desk.
“So. The cake.”
Max's eyes light up, “Superball you really get me.” 
“He's been eyeing that thing since we left the bakery. I'm surprised he hasn't pounced on it yet.”
“I have some restraint Sam, god.”
Sam laughs as he goes, “Do you?”
Suddenly, the office door opens. The three of them turn to see a very out of breath Flint Paper. He struggles to catch his breath as he holds out some paper in his hand.
“I. I got your present.”
Flint walks over to Superball and puts the paper in his hand. Max gets off the couch and jumps into Sam's lap, so Flint can sit down.
Superball looks down at the paper. He realizes that this isn't just any ordinary paper: these are tickets. More specifically tickets to a sold out Broadway show he's been dying to see for years. Even when he was president he couldn't get these tickets. He had given up all hope of ever seeing this show, so how the hell did Flint get these tickets?
“Flint. How did you get these.”
Flint just smiles, “I know a guy.”
Superball looks unconvinced. Flint may know a lot of guys from his line of work, but he's pretty sure Flint doesn't have exclusive access to Broadway. Otherwise, he would’ve started dating him a long time ago. A beat of silence passes before Flint speaks again:
“Alright fine,” Flint sighs, “There was a guy on seventh selling them for an arm and a leg. I just convinced him that his prices were unfair and he kindly gave me a discount.”
Which is Flint Paper code for: “You beat a man up for my tickets.”
“Hey. Scalpers are barely people. I'm doing the world a service by beating that guy up.”
“And,” Max butts in, “If you really think about it he could've done a lot worse!”
“See! It's fine.”
Superball looks down at the tickets again. You know for a man who claimed to be a shitty boyfriend: this was one of the most thoughtful things he's ever gotten. Flint may put on this tough guy persona, but Superball knows that he really cares underneath. Superball leans over and gives Flint a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you for the gift.”
Flint's blushing now. It's adorable.
“Yeah don't uh. Don't mention it.”
Sam and Max both make a noise from behind Superball.
“That was gross.”
“You said it little buddy.”
Superball wants to mention how he's caught them kissing various times in numerous ways, but since he's in a good mood he doesn't. He instead turns around and smiles.
“I want my cake now.”
Max jumps off of Sam's lap, “Geez you give one guy a good birthday celebration and he gets demanding.”
“I know,” Sam gets up and walks over to the desk, “I think we spoil the guy too much.”
As they begin cutting the cake, Superball holds up the tickets to Flint.
“I noticed there were two tickets here by the way.”
Flint gets up immediately, “Oh wow. Would you look at that? I'm starving.”
And with that, Flint walks over to Sam and Max. Smooth. Real smooth.
Hm.
You know, despite claiming he wasn't that excited about his birthday anymore: he was thoroughly surprised how excited and happy he was after the little gift giving exchange. He knows it's a little silly to be this happy after a few gifts and some cake but could you blame him? It's nice to feel wanted and loved by people he cares about.
He looks over at the three of them and sees Flint laughing as Sam tries to wrestle Max away from his cake. They're a bunch of idiots sometimes. But they're his idiots. And as long he had them around all of his birthdays would be as great as this one.
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